


Save It For the Bedroom

by DaydreamAway



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Beverly Marsh, Bisexual Richie Tozier, F/M, Fluff, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, M/M, Roommates, friends with benefits bevchie, possible smut? tbh who knows, the platonic romance everyone has for each other...unparalleled
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-01-02 09:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21159305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaydreamAway/pseuds/DaydreamAway
Summary: When Eddie Kaspbrak and Beverley Marsh moved in together they created the Kaspbrak/Marsh Manifesto.In this manifesto is the deal that the dorm is free real estate for any and all hook-ups, provided it's that given roommate's week. For months this format has worked for the two best friends ... At least until Eddie starts to give up his weekend slots in order to see more of his roommate's new friend. It isn't as if he looks forward to this jackass coming over...Right?Alternatively: Eddie starts catching feelings for his best friend's fuck buddy and he isn't quite sure how to deal with that.





	1. Save It For the Bedroom

**9:40AM**

When Eddie Kaspbrak and Beverley Marsh first started living together they created the Kaspbrak/Marsh Manifesto.

  
In a combination of promises and pacts this written handbook had come to fruition after a night out drinking where both roommates found themselves with equal opportunities for a hook-up, only to realize once in the cab home it might be a little awkward for both to be in the dorm. With a deliberate and heated debate - seeing the tyrannical medicine major victorious - the two friends decided whenever they wanted to save the bedroom there would be a heads-up, a warning if you will lay claims on it. It seemed an insane stretch at the time but over the last few weeks, they'd eased into it with grace, even going as far to embarrassingly text phrases such as 'go get 'em tiger,' when the occasion arrived.

  
That being said it was not Article 4 - also known as Save it for the Bedroom - that had kept Eddie Kaspbrak awake that night. No, instead it was Article 12 that in its bare essentials meant no one goes to bed upset or anxious. It meant that your burden is my burden because we are family. And it was true, they were family in a sense. In all the ways a younger brother irritated and endeared an older sister they had built a home in this dorm. They would share clothes, take turns trashing the place and also take turns on breakfast runs or rows due to mess. That night Article 12 had been pulled into play as Beverley Marsh began pensively pacing the floor, muttering about life choices and picking the right road and all the stretches of road untravelled and how she could never expect to explore all of them. You know, just normal young adult things. 

  
The medicine major knew what to do without thinking. Slipping up from his bed in the weary countenance he went to the CD player, fished a packet of cigarettes out of her purse, opened a window and sat on their couch. It was routine. Inaudibly the redhead shuffled over to the couch with pained softness, leg jiggling the coffee table until she lit a cig, glancing towards the tapped smoke alarm she'd DIY'd the second they reached college. It had _worked_ too despite Eddie's protest that it couldn't possibly be safe. He said nothing as his roommate's state encroached into a steady breathe, still limbs and a deep sigh. "Wanna talk about it?"

She shook her head gently, leaning into his side. "Not yet."

Just like that 'Femme Fatale' shifted into 'I'll Be Your Mirror' and Beverley Marsh started to doze off on her best friend's arm. The transition to a conscious Eddie Kaspbrak was less graceful, however, as the cause for consciousness was the rude awakening of a cold floor. The impact was enough to send him sprawling and blindly grappling to lift himself Lidded and blurred it was familiarity that allowed him to navigate the dorm's bathroom, lazily squeezing paste on his brush with fair accuracy. The fatigued routine was going well until...Well, until Eddie actually opened his eyes to realize he wasn't the only one in the bathroom.

Out of the corner of his eye, there was evidently a man trying to piss. Frozen in mild horror the brunette couldn't force his eyes to go above their fixation and, rather than acting like a normal fucking person, he scrunched his face into a faux sunny smile. "Sorry, didn't see you there."

With a stuttering departure, he was tempted to pinch himself. Back into the bedroom, he spotted none other than Bev Marsh; spread like a starfish, hair in mouth, one shoe falling off and bra hooked up all wrong. She still looked significantly better than she had last night. Despite the previous encounter he couldn't help but saddle up to his roommate and scruff her hair in mild revenge, retreating silently to get to Psych.

**7:30 AM**

  
Tuesdays were not Bev Marsh's best friend. With no coffee in her system, two hours sleep and a drama-work-shop, she'd soldiered through in a state of insentient insanity, her fingers trembling. The redhead knew she ought to fix her sleep schedule she really did but it was one of those frightful nights where the apprehension got the best of her and took her passion hostage for hours at a time. It had been a tense night and yet... Sure enough, the Marsh/Kaspbrak Manifesto sheltered her, battled off those worries and put her to bed. Article 12 ensured Eddie stayed up with her, making her problem his until they drowsed off to the faint hum of The Velvet Underground. Ash dancing from the end of her light, Bev Marsh smiled to herself in remembrance of the pact, hugging the leather tighter around her. One heel-clad boot pressed against the wall moments like these felt so serene she couldn't help but close her eyes, holding the smoke comfortably until the crunch of gravel startled her.

"Wanna see a cool trick?"

Looking up from the dazed reminiscence she was greeted by a guy around her age, his infliction one of enthusiasm and eyebags. Studying him she couldn't help but feel interested in what exactly he had to offer as he stood in a slouch, grin charmingly wide and eyes lidded in debilitated magnetism almost maniacal. Like a hyena, she thought amusedly. A faded _Back to The Future_ tee hung loosely over khaki shorts until they dwindled towards a pare of ratched sandals. Judgements reserved the redhead huffed out a laugh, thinking any style types useless. He was she decided exactly the type of person she would've hung out with in high school. "Have at it."

Elated by the positive response the man pushed back straggly hair, letting it fall down in various chunks before lighting a cigarette, pulling it to his nose. Giving her a once-over to check attention was held one finger pressed to his left nostril, while the other took a mighty heave as he breathed smoke into his nose. Arms falling with pride a tight-lipped smile appeared before he leaned down to her face, raising his brow theatrically. A moment passed before smoke was blown into Bev's face, travelling up her nose instead.

Leaning back to appreciate his handwork, a wonky grin took hold of his face before passing on to hers. There was something infectious about it. "So?"

"Any more tricks up your sleeve?" With a charming smile, it was no surprise to Bev Marsh that within an hour of talking, tricks and inappropriate jokes her and Richie Tozier were going to get on swimmingly. Besides these commonalities, he let her pinch a couple of cigs.

As prolonged sexual jokes turned into serious offers the wasn't much debate that this new friend was coming back to the dorms. While heavy makeout session transitioned to creaking bedsprings and a tumble of curse words it did _not_ lead to a conscious Eddie Kaspbrak. In all the time they'd spent fumbling for zippers and buttons neither of them had taken notice of the small lump on the opposite side of the room. Two hours passed and by that time pale limbs were thrown together on damp bedcovers, chests heaving and bumbling conversation resulting in nudges of warning. "Beep beep, jackass. Christ."

It was in a moment of gradual bliss that surroundings seemed to blur together, time something to be discovered underneath layers of cotton smothered by the condensation of skins touching. It was in this contact, the feeling of heat emanating off her new acquaintance that Bev Marsh couldn't help but drift off, desperate to gain the sleep she'd lost yesterday. Let it be known that this particularly redhead was not a still sleeper, nor was she lacking in muscle as within ten minutes of this deep slumber an attempt had been made on Richie Tozier's life, pushing him off the mattress with a resounding thud. With a grumble of curses, the man pushed himself up shuffling to what he hoped was a bathroom before hearing a contented click of his bones.

**10 AM**

Thankfully not the first one there Eddie Kaspbrak sank into a chair with a pounding chest.

Assigned seats didn't exactly exist in Psych class but all the same, he slumped into the back, running over what exactly had happened in the dorm. In the time he had soothed Bev back into a state of comfort she had gone out and found herself a fuck... It was amazing, to say the least. Deep in thought, lip snagged between his front teeth he'd barely noticed the scraping of the chair next to him. It was unexpected but all the same, it didn't draw his eyes away from the notes... At least until the stranger's hands moved down to get a pen out of his bag. Involuntarily Eddie found his eyes fixed on the man's hands and how uncannily familiar they seemed. 

Cautiously he let his gaze travel up from the hands, digesting every feature curiously. Eyes moving to the face in confusion it didn't seem to be someone Eddie knew so why... It hit him, like an avalanche. Jerkily moving back to his face the brunette shrank back in a whiplashed state, the slow grin spreading onto the other man's face helped nothing. Eddie was decidedly mortified. 

"Hi.."

"Like what you see?"

It was going to be a long hour.


	2. Modern Love

It hadn't always been Bev and Eddie against the world.

In fact, when the two had first moved into the dorm in their first year they were accompanied by another roommate - Stanley Uris - at least until two months into the year. With the limited experience under his belt, the gawky boy had decided University life was not for him. They still met up with him occasionally, even invited him back to the dorm for a sleepover but, alas, the sight of the place made Stan Uris feel sick to his stomach with past anxieties. That being said, the circumstances didn't prevent the three friends from meeting up in the least as at least once a month Bev and Eddie would stride down to the coffee shop down the road from school where, rather conveniently, their friend was situated.

It had been roughly three weeks since Eddie had last seen Stan, exactly one since he'd first met Bev Marsh's new friend and two hours until he would have to sit next to a said friend in his Psych class. The original tactic of staring right ahead in ignorance had failed miserably as Richie Tozier merely scooted closer, observing the way his brows furrowed at the gaze. Oh, that was Bev's friend's name... Richie Tozier: drama major, stoner, self-titled movie critic, cheese connoisseur and your local Eddie-irritant. Long story short he had all the pretentious opinions of a film major without the constant need for validation, he was pretty sure he could tell Richie to go fuck himself and he'd shine a sunny smile saying he already did this morning. 

In preparation for what would most likely be another month of an hour, Eddie Kaspbrak found himself strolling down to his friend's cafe hands in pockets and nose frost-bitten by the time he turned the corner. In all honesty, the brunette rarely based a stylistic choice on weather or any sensible reasoning but he just couldn't help it... In many ways, he thought it was a small rebellion, miniature defiance of all the things Sonia Kaspbrak had taught him. Eddie's life had been full of mini rebellions since he started college. He had Bev Marsh to thank for a lot of it. Strong, resilient outspoken incredible Bev Marsh who had destroyed his cage screw by screw by screw as to not startle or hurt him, his best friend who seemed forged in the fire of Athena herself but cracked like ice in moments of delicacy it was no wonder he'd flourished so full. The first few months had been turbulent in the mutual shock of freedom paralysing them both.

With all this in mind - Eddie Kaspbrak was dressed in mid-calf cut-off jeans and a thin jumper he wasn't convinced hadn't been made for a child- was an example of his small takeback of power. "How's Bev?"

Jerking his head up in startled disappeared of reverie he was faced with a bemused Stan Uris, an apparition in a time of unfocused thought. Serving his best tired-college-student smile his friend shook his head, wiping the counter absentmindedly while awaiting a response. "Oh! Yeah, she's pretty good uh... Has a new friend actually. Richie Tozier."

"What," Stan started brows pulling together in confusion, "happened to Amy?"

Oh. 

It was in moments like these Eddie realized how little they _actually_ saw Stan. A weekend here and there had felt normal but opposed to the weeks upon weeks the three of them used to spend holed up in the dorm, pizza and comfort movies in their midst it felt innumerably vast. Shooting his own smile back at the barista he could understand the confusion - Bev and Amy had been joined at the hip their first year - especially given how serious things had been getting just before he left to work here. 

"They broke up a couple of months back." The brunette replied, wistfully looking back on how happy Bev was during that year. Still, she was pretty elated nowadays too. "In the end, Amy wanted to go for that foreign placement while Bev... Well, she's still here."

The day the two of them had that fight Bev Marsh came home looking like she was ready to break something. Thankfully not her best friend's face but something and it was with a muffled sob she threw herself onto the bed, hitting the pillow in a way that reminded both of them they were only eighteen, they were juvenile and not too well versed in love or how it played out in the real world. That being said, that night Eddie stayed up to all hours of the night with his friend as she ranted about how much she loved her girlfriend, how she would go on to do great things and how she had the longest legs she'd ever seen. Then she would move on to the other side of the coin: how selfish she was for asking this, how bigheaded and domineering she could be and at how at the end of the day, Bev wasn't sure love _was _enough to keep two people together. 

"Christ," Stan muttered, assessing his eyes in hope of some good news. "You don't have anyone in your life then?"

"I-" How did one say they had numerous relationships that always made it to semi-serious before it broke it off? Eddie wasn't quite sure. "Not really..."

"Well, I suppose that's good news," Stanley said, "since the guy you always come here to see it behind you."

Taking the bait - like always - Eddie Kaspbrak turned around to see the guy he'd been making charged eye contact with over the last month, sat at his usual table with a laptop sitting in front of him and his tongue poking to the left side of his cheek. Hot as ever. Even so, he turned to his friend with a look of betrayal. "Hey! I come here to see _you _Stanely. My dear friend who I just happen to miss a whole lot."

Despite the tone, it was _true_. 

"Okay. Sure," he rolled his eyes, Stan Uris was a chronic eye-roller. "Just go sit near him and I'll bring you your coffee."

"L-"

"Latte with extra foam and a blueberry muffin."

With little success, Eddie tried to fix him with a glare before it inevitably soaked into a nostalgic grin and one that was returned with equal veracity. It was a smile that meant _it's good to see you, I miss you _and so much _more_. Settling into his own regular spot at the cafe it didn't take long for his gaze to slip onto the said man at the table over from him, looking back just as quickly when eyes lifted from the laptop. It was a little childish, Eddie would admit that but it gave him an infatuated thrill that someone's eyes were on him, that the look of appraisal was returned. 

The coffee shop itself wasn't anything short of cliche in terms of a place to meet a cute boy. With the renovation of library to the cafe, it retained remnants of its past occupation in the dusted shelves, leatherbound first editions and carpeted floorboards creating a space of comfort. Since he'd moved here it had been Eddie's place of escape and reprieve to get away from the bustling motion of the college, to find something that wasn't demeaning silence or screeching commotion. To just... _Exist_.

That being said all the time he'd been calling it Stan's cafe it did not, in fact, belong to his friend. However, it _did_ belong to someone who may as well have been an extension of his best friend: Mike Hanlon. After dropping out of college Stan Uris had gone round a multitude of coffee shops and markets in search of work only to find it at the end of the night just as everyone was closing up, just as Mike himself was locking up with a pair of rusted keys. 

Without thinking the drop-out had blurted out that he was looking for a job, that he had a good work ethic and he swore he didn't need to be paid too much at all only enough to get him up on his feet. Anxious he hadn't sold himself far enough Stan then went on to list his limited work experience as well as the positive grades he'd achieved in his short time in college. By the time he'd given himself a moment to breathe the cafe-owner was looking at him with wonder. 

"Can you make coffee as fast as you talk?" The man asked good-naturedly, a faint smile drifting underneath his eyes. Evaluating the other's pensive stance it was decided and delirious nod. "When can you start?"

Stunned into silence he very well could've dashed into crumbled relief right then and there. Perhaps it was a day of dragging feet and rejection that possessed him to be so enthusiastic, so utterly charmed by this man's kindness but with buckling knees, Stan Uris took hold of the stranger - his boss's - hands, cupping them tightly and looking up with immeasurable gratitude. "Tomorrow. I can start tomorrow._ Thank you." _

After that, the rest had been in history. If you didn't know the circumstance you could've well mistaken Mike and Stan for husbands, rather than genuine friendship turned tentative first stages of a relationship, as well as co-workers. However, this would suggest that the little cafe even felt like a business when to anyone who witnessed them around each other, was more akin to their own little universe. Eddie felt incredibly grateful to orbit such a glowing environment, despite its accessibility. 

Looking up just in time to catch his order being delivered Eddie flashed a bright smile at his friend as if to telepathically inform him of his reminiscence. Thin eyebrows raising Stan merely shook his head, long fingers reaching out sinisterly before settling on his head - the calm before to storm - before vigorously messing it up with all the tenacity of an elder brother. Everyone seemed to consider themself an older sibling figure to Eddie, and if he was candid, he didn't hate it... Most of the time. Pushing off his hand with mock irritation, patting down the chunks afloat the smile returned. "You look really happy, Stanley. Really happy I'm... Glad."

"Yeah well," Stan started, scratching his ear endearingly. "Mike's been really good to me."

He'd never been too good at expressing softer emotions but Eddie got what he wanted to say, he always had the knack for that understanding people's true feelings and what they needed in times of happiness or crisis. The brunette couldn't think of a greater gift to have as he shooed Stan off, claiming he couldn't be near him while he was 'boyfriend-baiting.' 

Peering over his shoulder at the still-there laptop guy Eddie couldn't help but feel a little pride at how long he held his gaze, at how far he'd come since the first time he'd entered the cafe. The first time he came here he was freshly eighteen years old scared shitless and almost turned into a volcanic mess when a guy looked at him for more than a couple seconds, because from where Eddie moved a guy staring at you meant you better start running and fast. Why was he thinking back to this? He wasn't quite sure and it certainly wasn't helping anyone so he shook it off the best he could and turned around to see... No one? 

"Hey."

Oh fuck.

He was right in front of him. Laptop guy holding his laptop. The guy he'd been sitting there psyching himself up to talk to the- "Hey."

Okay, the hello's were out of the way he could calm down. Why was he so panicked? Eddie Kaspbrak talked to boys he'd spoken to lots of them flirted even! Even so, an embarrassed rose threatened to spill colour onto his cheeks in a moment of weakness. Nodding to the seat beside him the medicine major was given an opportunity to take the man in full, not just in stolen glances but full gulps in which choking was inevitable. Drinking in the man in his entirety his vision consisted of toned arms stretching a shirt's fabric, a nose ring, floppy blonde hair tucked behind ears and a smile that hinted at a laugh that could reverberate through your whole system. Short story: he was insanely attractive. 

"You're here a lot." Eddie found himself spilling out, eyes retreating down to the table. He really didn't know how to act around a guy this handsome...How hopeless was he? Even so, the man didn't seem to notice and instead kept those hooded eyes fixed on him, a smile tugging at his lips almost involuntarily. He had that look as if he was always a little tired always a little too caffeinated for his own good. 

"So are you." He pointed smilingly tugging a loose end of his shirt absentmindedly. Looking down he carefully left his eyes to venture forwards. Tentative, "I'm actually pretty sure we go to the same college."

"Really? Just-"

"Yeah, just down the road from here... Right?"

"Yeah! God, I can't believe I've never noticed you... What're you studying?"

"I'm a film major." 

Suddenly Eddie felt like the wind was knocked out of him. A mantra was brought into his head by force colliding with all the times he and Bev had laughed over them together. Don't say something snide don't may fun of him dont'-

"So... Tarantino, huh?"

Unable to stop himself Eddie bit his lip stifling whatever muffled guffaw threatened to leap out, hoping and praying this film major could take a joke or at least overlook it on account of his cuteness. The two of held silent eye contact for a moment before the film major broke out into a hearty chuckle, cheeks splitting in amusement and - by God - he had dimples. Suddenly Eddie didn't care about the guy's possible pretention in any respect not when he had a laugh like that a face like that. 

"I'm Josh by the way," he said pursing his lips with childlike excitement. "And for my record, my favourite director is Coppola, not Tarantino,"

"I'm Eddie," he replied in a similar fashion, holding out his hand seriously. "Not that fussed about director's but I like John Hughes movies quite a lot."

An eyebrow raised.

"Romantic?"

"You could say that."

The two men held a gaze for longer than necessary and the contact only escalated from there, a touch of pinkies here grazing of the knee there until eventually, Josh's lips parted in thought. "You're really cute."

Frozen at the sudden compliment the brunette melted back into his seat, a silly smile painted on his face. It wasn't unusual for Eddie Kaspbrak to cave prematurely to his heart because while the actual obtaining of it was no simple task, to break the ice was one of subtle ease. Without meaning to brown eyes flickered down to the film major's lips, albeit a little soon he looked up to see a similar look returned. God, it usually took a second date for Eddie to be this hopeless around a cute guy but in fairness, this date was not ordinary - it wasn't even really a date - considering they'd been watching each other for over a month. 

"Do you wanna maybe come to my dorm?" He threw out, steadily maintaining contact to establish it was only a thought. "To hang out and stuff?"

'Hang out and stuff?' _God Eddie, how transparent can it be that you want to make out with the poor guy? _Mentally hitting himself over the head with the menu it was silent for an unbearable moment before Josh pushed his chair back, casually holding his hand out. No words were needed as the medicine major took hold of the other's forearm, keeping holding off it even after he'd steadied himself. Thank God for people with a functioning mind. 

The walk to the college was a short one that they kept up with a stream of casual conversation- an impromptu twenty-one questions if truth be told- and it was only as they reached the door of the dorm that a dam appeared, and Eddie hesitated. What gave him pause he wasn't sure but his nerves must've been palpable because Josh's face was right next to him in crouched concern. "Eddie?"

Looking to him for some semblance of reassurance on an uncertain fear he was suddenly very close... So close that in a search for reason Eddie closed the gap between them softly. More for testing the waters than anything else, the closing of his eyes quieted the nagging nerves, a change that must've been palpable as he could feel Josh's lips upturn. Finding himself on his tiptoes the action led to an escalation of the best kind as Josh sensed a difficulty on his part and, with a huff of a laugh, lifted him in aid of levelling the field. Maybe in his youth, the little laugh at his expensive would've rattled him, but in his college experience, any height-based insecurity Eddie had was inverted. What had once been a source of envy among his male peers now resulted in a love of men who towered over him to some extent, and the film major was certifiably the taller of them. However, it didn't agree wholly with him when others had the high ground, and so with purpose, the brunette moved hands cupping his face up to his hair so they were tangled.

Pulling back only to observe him, the blonde's green eyes sparkled in question. In response, all Eddie could bring himself to do was tighten the grip his thighs had on the man's waist. It was enough, reaching behind him Josh unlocked the door with such enthusiasm it made the koala-like one muffle a laugh.

"Oi! We're working here!" A poor New York accent called. That is to say, Richie Tozier was present. 

Too enraptured in their bubble the two men bumped into a leg and, jumping back in shock were greeted by the notice they were not, in fact alone. They were anything _but _alone actually. Gazing up at him with unbridled amusement and pride was Bev Marsh who, nodding to Josh inaudibly commended Eddie, whereas on the opposite end of the rug was Richie Tozier, hand poised over a newspaper as nail varnish dried on his index finger. 

Facing his best friend with a look the intention was more than clear. Stiff upon their exit he still managed a smile at her shoulder nudge, returning the gesture in bashed pride himself before feeling a second hand on his body. A deeper voice commending him was accompanied by a clap on the back so hard it sent him forward a step,

"Use protection, Eddie.K."

Bristled by the entire encounter it took the medical student a moment to function like a human and to work up enough recognition to apologize to the boy who appeared unrealistically non-plussed by it all. Jumping onto his bed he couldn't refrain from groaning into the pillow. It was just his luck that the asshole would be here-

"You okay?" 

"God I'm sorry," was all he could manage at present. "I honestly didn't think _he _would be here I swear-"

"Eddie," Josh started if for no other reason than to get his hyperventilating attention span. "They're gone."

"Yeah..."

God, he must've seemed so abnormally touchy about the encounter but he didn't _expect_ it. Wasn't it supposed to be his week with dorm hook-ups anyway? That shouldn't even matter because this wasn't a hook-up he just really liked this guy and wanted to spend more time with him... More time kissing him... Seeing him. It was as his eyes travelled despairingly over the bedsheet it seemed there truly was a telepathic connection to them - either that or Eddie was an open book - because as if sensing his thoughts the film major pressed their lips together. "Better?"

"I don't know," Eddie found himself replying getting a little overzealous. "Better try again just to be safe."

After exhausting the next hour making out and talking blindly about ambitions and musicians and friends, the brunette's mind couldn't help but revisit the encounter than first led them to the bed. "You know, I'm not even _friends _with Richie he doesn't come here to see me at all. He and Bev kinda have a friend with benefits thing going on and I guess I should consider her friends' mine but I don't know... You don't think it's weird he waits for her sometimes for hours when it's just me, do you? I hadn't thought about it but if you-"

"Eddie," Josh sighed, tiredly cutting off the long-winded speech. "I honestly don't care about Richie Tozier but if he bugs you this much why don't you just tell your friend?"

"I..." He was speechless for a second and it was in this pause that he was disgusted. What other reason was there other than him being selfish and meanspirited? "She really likes spending time with him so even if I can't see why... I wouldn't want to cut that off."

"Then you just have to deal with it," the other said, blonde locks falling over his face gracefully. "it's just the price you have to be for being such a great friend."

Okay, now that was smooth. For a moment Eddie thought his mouth would bust open for smiling. There was something so intricate in the way they were laying down in the quiet dorm, how it all seemed out of a -

"_Aye_, lover boy!" A voice called from the other end of the room, shattering the picturesque fantasy he had been painting. A voice that no matter how hard it tried to sound tough New York cab driver sounded more like poorly dubbed animation. "We have Psych class. Don't wanna be late, do we?"

Throwing up a middle finger in retaliation a sigh was the only response, well that and a breath of a laugh from Josh. Peering up at the boy from his eyelashes the brunette noted he wasn't watching him but the door. Swivelling back to Josh he flashed a pained smile _begging _him to convince him Psych could be skipped. "I think you have class," Josh mumbled while pushing himself up, arm muscle flexing while he did so. God... Did he _really _have to go? "I'll see you later, Eddie."

Taken aback by the goodbye, brown speckled eyes implored green one's to even walk him to class, to give him one last moment of sanity before an hour from Hell. This look didn't go entirely unnoticed but it did not have the convincing power the medicine major had hoped for. At least, until they were about to reach to the door as with a change of heart Josh's brows stitched together. Watching carefully Eddie crossed his fingers behind his back until he found his back bent, arms circling together as with an infused gesture the laptop boy from the coffee shop planted one more kiss onto him. It was partially a show in aid of Eddie's previous complaints regarding the one watching them but, in honesty, it only pushed him to grin into the kiss. Perhaps too elated, the nipping grounded the film major once more as he pulled back with a coy smile and smiling eyes that said he was owed something for that. "See you later, Kaspbrak."

With that Josh Graham left the room letting a giddy Eddie Kaspbrak and stoic Richie Tozier, whose gum was being bitten raw by his teeth, swap glances. Looking over to his classmate with an uninhibited unavoidable glow he bumped his shoulder on the way out the door. "Psych class, right?"

On the walk to Psych class, Richie Tozier had been surprisingly quiet. That is until they turned to go into the classroom and with that characteristic quirk of the mouth he came out with: "You usually take guys home after the first date?"

Now sat down Eddie level-headedly opened his notepad, sighing before opening his own mouth. "You usually this annoying?"

"Yes, now circling back," he swatted. "For real... Just for reference"

"Reference?" He couldn't help but snort. "I'll have you know it was my dorm time this week."

"Ah yes, the Manifesto!" He quoted, bravado overemphasized and dramatic. "Honestly, what bullshit. What if you can't wait till next week?"

"You go to the other person's place?"

"What if you can't go there either?"

"Guess you just have to keep in in your pants, Richie, Christ!"

"You know I'm no good at that, old chap."

His Cockney accent was so dreadful it felt as if it sawed through him. However, for whatever reason imaginable it put the hint of a smile on his face and in the silence that extended between them, Eddie felt as if he was calm enough to answer the previous question, no matter how ridiculous. 

"The answer is no," he said, staring at his notes to avoid eye's meeting. "I _don't _usually take guys home until I get to know them more... Or I really like them."

"Whatever floats your boat, Eds," Richie replied, a half-smile teetering on the edge of his mouth. "Just saying you could do better."

"D...Don't call me Eds-" This reprimand was stuttered out of slurred speech. As if his brain was working excruciatingly hard to retrieve moments of his childhood of any time he'd last been called by that, been called Eds rather than Eddie or Edward or Eddie-bear. Without a dismissal, the medicine major had secluded himself in this brainstorm of past, barely noticing the way Richie started talking again. 

"Anyway, wanna come to the dorm after this? Bev'll be there?"

Richie was saying something, he knew that his mouth was moving but... He couldn't bring himself to focus on the syllables. Once more the brunette felt himself get sucked into memories of summer, of sunscreen-rubbed shoulders and an old arcade. As if in a cinema of his own making Eddie watched oranges and yellows and blues mix together as a thirteen-year-old version of himself walked down an unfamiliar scene with his Mother.

It came to him slowly, this old remembrance. He had pleaded with Sonia to let him go into an arcade since they were on holiday since it was his birth month and by some miraculous blessing, she'd said yes, but only for twenty minutes. Any more and she would pull him out with her own hands. Ecstatic to even be given permission young Eddie rushed in the entrance with no inhibition instantly going to Street Fighter. All the kids in school had been talking about it.

Only on the latter half of his allotted time was he joined by another kid, roughly his own age and sporting khaki shorts and a Hawaiian shirt, coke-bottle glasses pushed right up his nose. Maybe it was because he looked so different from the boys back home but Eddie Kaspbrak thought he looked very cool. From some inner desire to become victorious or to impress the stranger Eddie won that game of Street Fighter and without thinking turned to the boy, beaming. Little did he realize halfway through the game this boy had paused to look at him admiringly, watching the concentration on his tanned face. _"You're really good!_

_"O-Oh!" The brunette stuttered, not expecting any praise at all. "Thanks, it was my first time playing actually."_

_"No way," the boy with glasses yelled, leaning over to the scoreboard. "Eddie? That's your name? Cool. I'm Richie."_

_"Yes, way! I..." Not quite sure how to pursue Eddie pushed forwards. "You're glasses are really cool."_

_"Wha- Well, I kinda need them," the boy laughed, fiddling with them before tugging them off completely. "You can try them on though."_

_Almost pissing himself out of excited the tanned teen reached for them eagerly, placing them delicately as he could before starting the other boy down desperate to do an imitation if only he knew him better. It didn't exactly help that he could barely see through them. Giggling to himself Eddie could not help but burst out with, "Holy shit, you're blind!"_

_"Cute..." Richie muttered, blush tinting his cheeks the longer he looked at this nerd testing the glasses out._

_"Huh?" Eddie asked, not quite catching it. "Thanks for letting me try them on."_

_"No problem, Eds." He replied, shoes scuffing against the carpeted floorboards. "They looked good on ya."_

_Pulling them off, without really thinking Eddie Kaspbrak leaned forward to put them back on Richie's face. Only a couple inches apart it was only once they were resting properly he took note of their proximity and for those few, sacred moments neither boys were able to move. In those few moments, the two boys memorised the other's lines and freckles in such detail and care it scared them both shitless. _

_"You're... Really-"_

_"Eddie-bear!" His mother had called. "Come one! Time up!"_

_As if doused in iced water both bots pulled back, vehemently clumsy in their steps. Eddie would never know what Richie was going to say but in turning around one last time they smiled at each other, a real genuine happy smile. That smile lasted the entire day and for the first time that summer Eddie Kaspbrak let himself entertain the idea of kissing a boy. One in particular. That boy from the arcade. _

Coming back to the realm of reality, nineteen-year-old medicine student Eddie Kaspbrak felt a shiver vibrate through his entire body. It wasn't summer, there was no boy at an arcade although there was a boy of the same name sat next to him. With a sharp silent laugh, he noted the two boys couldn't be more different. Even so, he let the memory rustle around for a few more moments before sighing. The discovery was somewhat deflating but at the same, he clutched at it. He wouldn't let it slip through his fingers again, not a moment that he had no doubt was pivotal to him as a thirteen-year-old, to find someone who at least _seemed_ like him. Someone who _liked him. _

It was then he noticed the real Richie was waiting for a reply. 

"What?"

"The dorm?" He repeated, frown multiplying the lines on his forehead. "After this, you could come over. To see Bev."

"Yeah." Eddie found himself murmuring, mind on the absurdity of the flashback. "That sounds good."


	3. Everything's Magic / Teenagers

During the walk to the dorms, Eddie Kaspbrak was sure of two things. One? He hated being called Eds. Two? He... Did not hate Richie Tozier as much as he wanted to. The passionate irritation that had surged within him was, admittedly, rooted in an internalized fear of losing. Losing his best friend, to be more specific. It had taken Eddie this long to find someone he felt truly understood him and the idea of that sense of security being altered... Stunted him. 

Well, that and the longer the drama major went on his lengthy rant on why marmite trumped jam or marmalade he got the sense he and Bev were made to meet each other, and in his bones, Eddie could not bring himself to hate someone so glaringly close to his best friend. Although every time he sprouted that stupid nickname the flashing of irritation came dangerously close again. Before he'd reached this state of tranquillity and peace, or as close as he could get, a snappish tone had overtaken him in class. There was venom in his response to something, to the point an apology pushed through his teeth it was hard to place was had sparked a nerve. For the next couple minutes, Richie Tozier had observed him silently while taking a break from wisecracking in a furtive search for the right response. In the end, it was one that seemed completely off base and yet... And yet.

"Bev's pretty great... Isn't she?"

Now that had thrown him for a loop.

"Yeah, she is" Eddie had replied, wearily looking up at him, mouth downturned. "she's the best person I know."

"You know you're her favourite person of all time, right?" The man had asked him, coaxing an understanding nod out of him. "A lot of the time we aren't even doing anything too R-rated... Look, what I'm trying to say is you don't have to leave every time I'm over. I'm pretty sure she'd really like it if you stayed around..."

Swallowing the words Eddie Kaspbrak realized the glaringly obvious truth of the situation, or at least the situation through the eyes of Richie Tozier. The truth that Eddie felt shunned, kicked out of his own apartment by the two lovers escapades and dejectedly took it out in a clear dislike of the man. In all honesty... Eddie would own up to _part_ of it because maybe that _was_ an aspect of it but he couldn't help but feel there was something else, something buried that ticked him off about Richie Tozier and he didn't know how deep that thing went. It was like a nag in the pit of his stomach.

Even so, he flashed a closed smile in response, not trusting himself to respond in a non-feral manner.

"Besides, it isn't like you haven't seen my dick before."

"Yeah," he found himself agreeing, instantly pressing his tongue to his cheek to prevent something else peeping out. All of a sudden his irritated front melted into one of subdued humour. "I mean it's barely there so,"

Swallowing a laugh at the rather grand exaggeration Eddie only noticed the incredulous stare he was being fixed with a minute later. Ducking his head in fear of being called out on it, the cackle from the other man threatening to take hold of his own throat. Miserable red misting his cheeks the brunette merely sat up as if the encounter hadn't happened, as if following the preceding events they _didn't_ poke at each other with quiet snippets of jokes.

In the course of the journey after class, the two boys found themselves exchanging lines of the following things: indie music starting to sell out, the legitimacy of on-screen romance, whether _Eds_ was a good nickname (it was not), the downfall of comic book's and what the superior toast topping was. At some point Eddie had found himself amusedly shaking his head at the fast-paced variety and in the second he ran through everything they'd discussed a new topic was on the horizon.

"Anyway, dear Eds as I was saying," he seemed to continue, riding off of whatever topic had led him to the shortwinded outburst. "when Kafka talked about the internalisation of fear and it's mani-"

Almost unintentionally a laughed bubbled for the brunette's mouth and in hasty misdemeanour a hand raised to his mouth, protecting any further brewing from spilling over. Even so, the sound earned him a look, one he couldn't decipher for the life of him. Swerving to face him the dark-haired goof tucked his hands further into faded jeans, pleased smile scrunching his nose at the unparalleled achievement of making him laugh. Richie Tozier adored making people laugh, that much was clear and it was a quality that disturbingly endeared him to Eddie at that moment "You have a really cute laugh."

Head jerking up in surprise he tried to brush it off with a short huff and ignored the pink that lightened his complexion, ignored the way it faintly resembled his cropped sweater as the hue became more and more noticeable. Swatting his arm there was a significant rise in the pace of their walk. "Shut up."

In the beat of silence, Eddie mortifyingly confronted his reaction, appalled by the perpetrator brushing it off as an unexpected reaction. While they ascended towards the dorms rambunctious laughs and giggles bounced through the corridor, echoing lives of people they would probably never meet let alone talk to. Making no comment on the way Richie ruffled his hair further, throwing open the door he followed him in silently noting - it was unavoidable - firstly, the pang of weed and cigarettes and... Lemon air freshener?

"What?" Richie bluffed jokingly tearing his glasses off in mock outrage. Hand on heart his arms circled around a man laying on the bottom of a bunk bed. "In the short time I've been gone - less than an hour - I've been replaced! Is my girl really so much more charming?"

That is to say in the corner of the room sat on an old, faded lime green bean bag was Bev Marsh, accompanied by a guy whose shoulders were squashed together as to provide room. Upon his arrival, an ear-splitting grin took over his best friend's face, sliding off the bean bag with ease. Hastily making her way over an arm linked over Eddie's shoulders affectionately before her spare head powerfully slapped the other's ass. The two shared a grin as the redhead slipped a stinging hand into the scruffed khakis. 

"Yeah," the one called Ben seemed to blurt, flushing a violent scarlet at the outburst.

However, at earning a grin from Bev that scarlet flooded into pleased honour. Looking around the room Eddie noted how overwhelmingly multi-dynamic the room was. It was as if three universes had merged together and in a rough yet purposeful blend, they swelled as if dependant on one another. The room carried each of its occupants in a fitting concoction of hand-pinned blueprints, scattered manuscripts and peeling movie posters while a tattered record player swivelled.

Sat on the bottom bunk bed was presumably the second roommate who hadn't lifted his eyes from the laptop. If you looked a little closer, however, you would spot a mirthful smile ghosting on his lips, painting him apart from the other boys. While Richie was lanky and abrasive, and the one Bev was sat beside resembled a human teddy bear more than anything else, this guy looked both fifteen and sixty. Somehow they seemed to fit together.

"That's Bill," Bev informed him casually, bumping their hips. "English major. Very serious about it all but he's actually pretty cool, let me cop a couple of his cokes."

Stifling a chuckle he leaned into his friend's shoulder. "And the one you were sitting with?"

"Ben," she smiled softly, looking at him with her trademark smile, sharp and sweet all at the same time. "Architect. A real sweetheart. _You'll_ love him... So, ya warming up to Rich yet?"

"Oh." For some reason, the question had thrown the shorter of the two off-kilter and with a flitting gaze, he shrugged his shoulders noncommittally. "He's _alright_ I mean... He's not really good enough for you..."

"Well, who is?" The redhead asked with a haughty reprieve, puffing her chest out in pride but releasing in a wheeze. "I'm such a catch, after all."

"Well, obviously in a far off alternative universe it would be _me_.," Eddie started with a shit-eating grin, " you know, one where I actually _like_ girls but... Who knows? Maybe in this alternative universe, you're not _my_ type."

"You're such a brat." She tittered, rubbing her knuckles into his head forcefully."Besides, hows _your_ boy?"

"I-"

"Hey, Marsh?" A voice called from the corner. "Wanna head over to yours for a while? These nerds need to study."

"N-Not everyone can pass without studying, Richie," Bill snapped from below, although it was all in good fun as he tossed up a bird a second after. "Our _'mediocre minds'_ could never compare."

"When are you going to let that go?" Presumably-Richie whined from the bathroom. "It was a joke I was _seventeen. _I know I'm not the-_"_

"Wanna come, Eddie.K?" Bev asked.

"Oh, s-"

Feeling a vibration at his side the brunette flicked through his phone only to find one message lighting up his screen, sent a moment ago and all in lowercase was _'are you free tonight?'_ These words were from none other than Josh Graham, film major and overall very decent kisser. In case you didn't know the kissing had managed to outweigh the deplorable major. "Yeah, sure."

Slipping his phone away Eddie was met with the film major just behind him - he had been there a few seconds - who fixed him with a knowing look. He had seen the message and he wasn't going to forget it. Whatever. Eddie didn't have time to give things like that much analysis. "L_et's a'go!_"

With that, the three of them headed down the corridor obnoxiously conjoined as Richie's hand slipped into Bev's back pocket and her arm circled around Eddie, like mismatched Russian dolls. They must've looked a sight to the students with night classes but even so, any comments were void of audio as the three laughed amongst themselves. They were in their own little world.

**23:34**

For the last three hours things seemed to be a blur: they played Monopoly (Richie tipped the board over in protest at his loss), they drank half their weight in cheap store alcopops, Eddie got piggybacked on _two_ occasions, they sat in silence to the sound of Angel's and Airwaves, a little more alcohol was consumed. An awful rendition of Richie-induced charades started, an awful rendition of Richie-induced charades ended and sleepily they put on a glitched version of Moulin Rouge, whose choice of movie it was Eddie didn't know but he had his suspicions.

With the main iconic numbers out of the way, music started to blare from the stereo. Who turned it on? He couldn't tell. With a dance routine in the making, Eddie had drunk just enough to join the two in their Atomic Kitten based hysteria seeing him tossed between the two in a high power choreography completely missing the tempo of the song. Finding himself face to face with Richie Tozier the inhibition of drinks allowed him to stare at him fully. Refusing to crack as he was twirled madly by his best friend, he shone a bright smile. "You..." he started. "You have very blue eyes."

Sheepishly twirling him back to Bev the film major merely nodding in agreement, as if embarrassed by the observation. The redhead erased the awkward encounter by being there as with her arms around both of them it was impossible to not be enamoured by her. The dancing faded when Bev's energy depleted, tumbling onto the couch although if there was one thing to know about a drunk Bev Marsh, it was that she wouldn't stay down long. 

By this point their attention would drift between cracking dreadful jokes at one another's expense, hugging to make up for it and intently watching the movie. Escaping the death-grip of his best friend's arms Eddie watched the two lovers dance in a spastic lovechild of the polka and funky chicken, only fleetingly pausing as Bev's toned arms spun the man a little too far, sending him flying into the door. "Fuck!"

"She's so fucking pretty!" Bev wailed dramatically, clutching a pillow as she watched the screen, now settling back onto the couch. Eyes wide and admiring she watched Nicole Kidman shimmying. "God..."

"Not as pretty as you!" Richie called from the window, the smile evident as he rubbed where he'd hit the door.

"I'm not insecure, Richie," Bev replied, looking him square in the eye. "I'm in love with her."

That was most likely the last coherent sentence Bev Marsh made that night as not long after the movie had reached its climax she was running to the bathroom. Returning five minutes later with her hair knotted in what she would claim was a power move she waved her arms wildly, "false alarm!"

At some point in between a complicated and possibly bone-breaking Spice Girls routine and a _real_ puke incident, Bev Marsh had passed out on her bed. Arms wild, bra only half unhooked and spread like a starfish she looked like a Matisse painting. Biting his cheek in conflicting mixture of I_ told you so_ and _my poor friend_ Eddie tangled the other arm free and tucked her under the covers. In superstition, he also moved a bucket beside her, in case of repetition. 

Flickering to the next movie in their line up the rambunctious opening music to _Cat on a Hot Tin Roof_ blared. After the thorough drunk-proofing of the dorm, Eddie Kaspbrak settled onto the window breathing in the fresh air. At the sound of rustling, a string of curse words fell from his mouth, almost resulting in his fall until a hand waved reassuringly, crouching beside the window. "Mind if I smoke?"

Facing him with a bemused look the brunette merely shrugged. "Thought you'd gone back to the dorm."

Lighter in hand, illuminated eyes stared up at him through smudged glasses. "Not quite willing to risk fainting in the corridor. Did it once freshman year and woke up naked... Not that it wasn't a godly sight for fellow students, of course."

Huffing a sigh he hugged his knees tighter as slowly but surely the ghost of a migraine set in. Even so, he couldn't bring himself to retire to bed and instead squinted at the man beside him, "what did you mean when you said I could do better than Josh?"

Shrinking back in surprise the cig tipped dangerously. Blinking in recognition he eventually leaned back in thought, shirt stretching across his chest while he scratched his neck. Circling his gaze from the brunette's hands to his eyes, lips parted. "Just... You seem like a good person, Eds. Not that I know much about this Josh guy... Or you for that matter."

"Well, I like him," Eddie informed him, studying his face and the way it twitched with every drag the way his hands habitually shifted down to fix his jeans. There was then a beat of silence where all that could be heard was Elizabeth Taylor and a faint purr of a snore. Reaching the bedroom scene Richie's mouth twisted in a tired grin.

"Well, I'm just a cat on a _hawt_ tin roof!" He cried out quietly letting his eyelashes flutter with every off-key consonant. The impression itself was pretty terrible but all the same, Eddie let his gaze flit from the window to his face.

"Then jump," the brunette replied, involuntarily. Tongue to the side of his cheek as the Paul Newman came out rough and tired, "Maggie."

Eyes darting over to him a silly grin spread across the drama major's face, infectiously tickling the corner of the brunette's mouth. Determined to not look away first Eddie rose his eyebrows in a dare that seemed to crack the other man as he huffed a laugh, eyeing him curiously. "You're a pretty interesting guy, Eds Kaspbrak."

Eddie didn't let himself say it but in the back of his head, he echoed, _you too_


	4. Kids in Love / Stay with Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my dumb as really thought i'd upload chapter six before halloween fjsdkfdsl :') so the halloween chapter will be a little later than planned but pls enjoy this relatively short chapter i edited at 3am.
> 
> (also!! every chapter title is a song so i thought i'd link the playlist i listen to while writing it here : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7geI3kHcyMjnODntXA8mkP?si=z_Ejmat0R-OpSetaQrjZcw . a lot of them just fit the mood of the chapter, how i was feeling or the actual progression of the story so i'll let ya'll decide which is which)
> 
> lastly, tysm to everyone whose enjoying it's been a lot of fun to get back into writing them. :')

Whether he liked it or not Eddie Kaspbrak was warming up to Richie Tozier's friend group.

More often than not if they weren't at their own dorm, in class or visiting Stan you could friend them at Richie Tozier's dorm, even when said person wasn't there. Bill Denbrough and Ben Hanscom had easily solidified themselves as pretty decent people in Eddie's books and while not an incredibly insidious accomplishment it was nice to have extra people in your circle, for the place you spend most of your time to feel more like home. To have a home to go to, was more to the point he was trying to make.

Budding friendship with the three boys considered Richie, Bev and Eddie were all lounging around the dorm in the late afternoon for no other reason other than to be in each other's company. Intense displays of affection considerably toned down between the two of them Eddie couldn't help but smile if they shared a kiss or two because, at the end of the day, it made Bev smile. In regards to displays of affection, it was also becoming a more common occurrence for Eddie to be sandwiched somewhere between them on movie nights, always in a position that allowed Bev to play with his hair and Richie to stack his legs on top of his. In all the protests of the last week, it was becoming clear the brunette's resolve was fading despite its flair when called Eds or witnessing anything R-rated. It didn't really help that bed creaking meant a pillow fight and choked laughter meant sex and a combination meant God-knows-what. Either way, in the week approaching Halloween the three had been spending long hours brainstorming. Amongst the suggestions were: Mia Wallace, Sid Vicious, Shrek, Amelia Earheart, Veronica Lodge and Gomez Adams. Assign those suggestions to whoever you wanted but the discussion was ongoing.

"I think Eds would make a great Harley Quinn."

"I-"

"_God_, keep up Richie we did Harley and Ivy last year!"

"I think I should be sexy Beetlejuice. On a side note, any pictures of last year?"

Earning a fierce look from the medicine major, he slinked back into the beanbag pouting. Accepting temporary defeat the conversations continued between the two best friends rapidly. "Hey, Rich?"

"Hm?" He called distractedly, intensely scrolling through a website in vain search of ideas. "Yeah?"

"Sure Eddie looks like Anthony Perkins?" Smoothing his hair down Bev Marsh had been inspecting her friends face thoroughly. "God, you're losing _way_ too much baby fat, Eddie. K I don't like it but... A Norman Bates in the making?"

Sliding her with a bemused smile he pulled her hand away. "I swear if this is because of my Mother-"

"It's not!" She promised, turning him around like a mannequin to face their friend in exaggerated enthusiasm. _Their_ friend. "Back me up, Richie!"

"You know I think he's more a Paul Newman type but... I suppose I can see it. Besides," he continued, standing up in full attention before bending down to the brunette's face. "what makes you think I didn't mean _Eddie_ to be the Nancy?"

"The Sex Pistols are shit," Eddie replied flippantly staring the man down with utmost conviction. "you know this."

"And Vicious didn't play for their titular album!" Richie cried throwing his arms behind his head, looping back to see the redhead. "Was he arguably an awful bassist? Yes! Was he _also_ a sexy bastard? Also yes! Which is _why_ I am perfect."

"Won't disagree with that," Bev muttered on an in-breathe, narrowly escaping stick arms encircling her. "Richie I keep telling you that you're made to Jack Skellington with your legs... I'd even make the costume!"

Turning his face to her with exaggerated disinterest he merely straightened his posture, and with a forcible nasal tone spoke, "You know, Burton's didn't even direct The Nightmare Before Christmas or any of his big movies? It was all this guy called Henry Sellick-"

"Christ, just say no!" The design major laughed out, tousling her hair in thought. "For the first time, it isn't a duo we're going as so unless you guys know of a throuple we're going solo costumes. And no, we are not doing The Breakfast Club."

"O-_kay_, Molly Ringwald."

"You wouldn't even be Nelson you'd be Ally Sheedy, asshole."

Seemingly taking great hurt to this Richie Tozier slunk further into the beanbag until there was a crease in every part of his body and he was visually more similar to a walrus than a human. The following debate was between who would be who in terms of Star Wars in which Bev and Richie butted heads relentlessly over who would be Han Solo, while Eddie watched in entertainment. His only comment during the argument had been declaring himself as Luke which, unsurprisingly, was shot down by both of them. 

"Maybe I'll just go as Kim Possible and screw over you losers," Bev decidedly announced after another hour, although her eyes flitted to the brunette in revision. "Actually not including Eddie because you, Tozier, are the pickiest little bitch alive."

"Oh, forgive me for wanting to make sure we upstage everyone!" Richie flapped back and although there wasn't anything as sinister as hostility the comic tone was peeling back to reveal someone lacking sleep. "It's not _my_ fault Eddie won't just take one for the team and be Princess Leia!"

"You just want to see me in a dress!" Eddie protested heatedly, chipping in through his otherwise spectator position to the unfolding disagreement. "Besides, Bev would obviously be Leia she's a total badass. And _that_ would make me Luke."

"Hey!" Bev whined. "For that betrayal, my _brother..._Here are the pictures from last year."

Far too quickly the drama major made a grab for the redhead's phone, and with a fatal role of the eyes she handed it to him. Closing his eyes he remembered the process of getting dressed that Halloween. It had been the first year where his Mother hadn't patrolled his costume and with the excitement he wanted to start with a bang, enter costume designer Bev Marsh. With the fear living in Derry had instilled it him it was with hesitance he let his new best friend fit him yet, at the end of the night, the two of them had received so many compliments he was delirious. It had officially gone down as one of the best nights of his life but looking at Richie it hit him just how successful the transformation was. Bev was a magician.

Just as the drama major was about to open his mouth it hit Eddie. He was supposed to go on a date with Josh in five minutes. Audibly chanting 'fuck' under his breath he tumbled through the dorm with both of his friends staring after him quizzically. Keeping the faded jeans, swapping the sneakers for faux leather boots and buttoning a grey shirt to the best of his ability Eddie appeared breathless in front of the two. "Date with Josh," he wheezed. 

"_Fuck_," Bev zapped over to him with ease, fluffing up his hair and smoothing his shirt with sure efficiency. It was moments like these his best friend felt more like his mother, but it was as she stepped back that thought shattered. She was Bev Marsh, sisterly fashion extraordinaire, and it was with grabby hands she motioned to Richie. "Gimme your jacket."

"What? He asked, bemused. Despite the questioning, he shrugged the leather jacket off, handing it to the redhead. "Ah, I see."

Though the jacket was far too big on him, Eddie marvelled as Bev rolled the sleeves in a way that _worked_. As she stepped back the brunette became overly conscious that they were both surveying him intensely. Scratching at his side he faced them with a funny look, time was ticking by. "Quick, how do I look? Shit?"

"Hot."

"Cute."

These two comments had caused his face to pinken considerably but all the same, his hugged his best friend, kicked the dirtied vans of the other and ran off to greet Josh. Shaking his head at the two reactions he shone his brightest smile at the man in the car who, with the purpled sky, looked such a serene sight he could've melted into the seat.

**19:49**

It was a pretty standard timetable for a second date - a quick dinner followed by a movie - but all the same Eddie's knees were weak during the whole thing. He could never get tired of the cliches, even if he wasn't the intended audience. Maybe it was the way _he'd_ gotten to choose the desert at the restaurant, or the cheesy meeting of arm and shoulder during the movie or the fact they were currently having a very heavy makeout session in his car - who could say? All the brunette knew was that he wouldn't change the frame of a date for anything. "You're... God, you're so cute."

It was with this he couldn't help but cringe his head into the crook of the blonde's shoulder. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't hear the word cute without the echo of Richie Tozier and the pinched sensation on his cheek. Grappling with this blockage for a moment it seemed to give the impression there had been a misstep in their night as Josh pulled back. "I'm sorry did I-"

"No!" He protested. Hands sliding down from the man's shoulders to his forearms that, despite the interruption, were kept on his hips Eddie frowned slightly. "It's just... A friend of mine calls me cute a lot and he... Well, it just threw me for a second."

"I take it this friend is Richie Tozier?"

Oh, the medicine major had forgotten about their dinner. During the half-hour as they enjoyed their meal, the two had shared stories of their last few days and what they'd been up and well...Richie was a regular. In fact, Eddie didn't think there was one story that didn't include him. That wasn't to say Bev didn't appear, because she did! Of course, she did. A lot of the time stories of them came in pairs, but the brunette knew it didn't send a particularly positive message if you were talking about another guy the whole date. The guy that last your date had heard, you pretty much hated. 

"Yeah..." He laughed out, fiddling with Josh's buttons absentmindedly. "It's just that I see him every day so... He's still annoying as all fuck though."

For whatever reason, that last sentence picked at his heart in guilt. Sure, Richie could be abrasive and rude but that was a part f him, the guy that more than anything loved to make people laugh. All the times he irritated Eddie that annoyance had never sustained itself, and to insinuate it did... While wearing his jacket too, it didn't sit right. However, it didn't seem taking it back would help his case because Josh was now smiling softly. 

"I'm not jealous, Eds," the film major chuckled good-naturedly. That nickname made his mouth feel like gravel. That wasn't the right voice. He'd bring that issue up later. "I just want to hear more about _you._ I like _you_."

"Really?" The medicine major smiled, knowingly glowing at the chance to hear it again. "Well... I like you too, a whole lot."

"That's all I needed to hear."

With the bump smoothed down, the two sank further into the car. As a kid, Eddie had been a pretty big car fanatic, and although he adored a vintage Camaro the limited space was driving him _insane_ as grappled to maintain contact. In an attempt get more comfortable his hips slammed up slightly and with that, a sharp breathe was taken against his neck. As if in revenge, the brunette couldn't help his own throaty nose when hands tugged the hair at his nape. The same place he'd moved Josh's hands to the first time this had ensued... Oh, he was on cloud nine. The heavy make out carried for another twelve minutes before tanned, warm hands were playing with the waistband of his jeans, and Eddie's eyes shot open in alert. It wasn't that he didn't want to go further. God, he wanted to so badly but in the back of his mind that first month at Uni and his first experience...It persisted to warn him about going too fast. With the past bearing down on him it was with sneaked motions Eddie moved his date's hands to intertwine with his. He'd thank himself for this later when it happened for real and he was comfortable with it happening. 

However, the intertwining of their hands didn't last long. As those large hands once again made their way to his jeans, Eddie had to purposefully catch them at the wrist causing Josh to pull back ever so slightly. Lidded eyes gazed into his, one of the hands went to his cheek and so the brunette released the other in trust. "Eddie..."

"I love you," Josh muttered. Only... His free hand moved back down to his jeans, and it was the combination of words and actions that made Eddie freeze. 

Pulling off him entirely, the film major stared at him but all Eddie could do was try and control the quivering. His body was being sent back to last year and oh, Christ it was the same kind of car and everything. Jerkily he managed to trick his legs into moving, although they felt like jello and his hands didn't work as they should he tried to open the door. His brain was fighting him to go to the past while, in the present, all he could do was stare at Josh in horror and fumble for words. But how does one reply to a confession that couldn't be trusted? One that suddenly made you feel very unsafe? "Cool," was what he landed on.

Finally finding success in unlocking the car Eddie legged it. Not looking back once he surely bumped into various student but at that moment he couldn't care less. His mind was racing to keep up with his body, to separate two eerily similar moments in his life that he thought he had under control and had locked away. Eventually, he turned the corner where the dorm was located but all that filled his head was one name: Tyler, Tyler, Tyler

**20:17**

It had taken him three minutes to still his hands enough to open the door, and another one to calm his breathe. As his eyes cleared and adapted to the fuzzy light of the dorm it became clear Bev wasn't awake but... Someone was. The light from a phone lit up the couch area and as he came closer the brunette could surely make out a tangle of curls and long limbs. "Eds?"

That nickname... He waited for the prickles of ice and yet, they didn't come. No matter how long he waited all he felt was an ache in his bones at being somewhere safe, somewhere that didn't hold frightful connotations. "Hey..."

"How'd the date go?"

Shooting him a tiredly wry look there was a distinct feeling this conversation would indeed happen. Pushing himself up onto the bed, back to wall there was a sigh of relief in the sinking cold. Frettfully contemplating his chances of coming down with a cold after running in the rain, he tried to deduce the amount of medicine left and if there was even any cold medicine in their cabinet at this point. One that wasn't out of date. If that was the case he'd have to get up early and -

"Eddie?"

"Hm? Oh, I mean it was really good," He swatted in defence. only to shrink in on himself at the ghost of those words. "Until the end of the night, it was the perfect second date."

"The end?" With pursed lips, the drama major slinked his way off the couch and carefully made his way onto the bed. As if reading his mind he then proceeded to kick off his tattered vans and slid up beside him, legs dangling off the edge whereas the brunette's tucked under his chin. "What happened? He didn't force you or any-"

"Not exactly," Choking on the suggestion he met the man's gaze fully. Not wavering in its sincerity it seemed to probe further information without so much as a word, knowingly goading any snags in this otherwise perfect night out of him. It was a talent of his, Eddie was beginning to realize. "He said _'I love you.'_ "

"Okay, that's pretty cheap but," Richie watched his face, careful to maintain distance. "What do you mean by 'not exactly'? What did you-"

"I didn't say it back." Eddie interrupted, looking back at him purposefully. "He was trying to go further and after the third time I moved his hands he said that. I just- He probably thinks I'm an asshole. Do you know what I said, Rich? To 'I love you'? Cool."

"Oh, Eds..." Richie sympathized, moving his arm in question to which Eddie nodded. An arm was now on his shoulder. "I have to say that response would hurt anyone but... Eds, he should've listened the first time, this isn't your fault. Seriously - Did you tell him it was too soon?"

"No, I didn't..." Eddie muttered miserably, "I thought it was common knowledge that you don't say it on the second date I... It isn't as if I'm not into him because I am... I really am but-"

"Then tell him," Richie cut off, eyes drifting to a loose thread on his jumper before returning to him. A soft smile was fixed onto his lips but... There was something funny about it. "Tell him it caught you off guard but, my good friend Eds this was his fault, he's responsible for this too. Get an apology before anything else because you sure as fuck don't owe him."

"I _know_ but," Eddie started, looking to his friend with a tired thanks. _Thanks_ because he _didn't_ truly know it, not in his heart and especially not when Tyler said otherwise."Did Bev ever tell you about my first boyfriend?"

"No," the drama major frowned. Shifting to face him fully. "Why?"

"I was eighteen and just moved here," he started. Keeping the breath in his chest steady, careful to not exert too much. "And there was this really nice bartender I'd been talking to for a couple of weeks and on our first date, everything had been perfect. He'd been a real gentleman all night and the first time he'd kissed me... God, it had been my _first_ kiss ever and I was on the moon. But he wanted to go further and I was obviously pretty hesitant since I didn't know how any of that shit worked but... When I started to say 'maybe another time,' he'd said he loved me and...How was I supposed to react? Without thinking I'd said it back, I mean... I'd just gotten to hold a boy's hand for the first time in my life - of course - I loved him."

Looking to him with an intense listening face a smile flitted across his face. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he pushed on. "Yeah, it's just... When your eighteen you don't realize the implications of those words, not on the first date not when it's with a twenty-five-year-old bartender who always served you a few too many drinks and called you 'wise beyond your years' a few too many times..."

As if on bare human instinct Eddie felt Richie's arms wrap around his shoulder even tighter as if to protect him from this ancient experience. In any other circumstance Eddie might've shrugged him off but with a deep sigh, he leaned into it, almost laughing at how absurd the sprout of old had been. "That was pretty heavy I'm sorry. I'll probably explain to Josh it just... Caught me off guard. I think it was just that we were in a similar car and-"

"Eds? It's okay," The drama major mumbled. "You don't owe him shit because at the end of the day you clearly weren't ready. You and me... I think we just give our hearts away too easily sometimes."

"Bev takes good care of people's hearts," Eddie stated matter-of-factly as he breathed in a scent, one that was becoming familiar to him. Sandalwood and mixed spices or whatever they put in those run-of-the-mill deodorants. "And she loves you a whole lot... I haven't seen her laugh that much in a while."

"Not as much as she loves you." He laughed in reply. "God, if I said one bad thing about you she'd kick me out so fast..."

"Then I advise you treat me like the king I am," the brunette said with monotone grace, causing vibrations of a chortle in his side. Glancing at the time on his watch and the look on his face Eddie decided to try his hand at asking him something. "Hey, Richie... What did you mean when you said you give your heart away too easily?"

"I..." There was a thick swallow as if there was something stuck in his throat. Eddie felt it travel down in difficulty. "I've had about two serious relationships, Eds and neither of them ended too well. One of them can be chalked up to being in High School but Sandy... God."

"What happened?" The medicine major found himself asking, voice quiet as if to not disturb the seven sleepers of the dorm room.

"This won't come to surprise to you, dear Eds." He prefaced with a tired grin. "But whenever I'm dating someone everything is so heightened and in-your-face, and those first couple months I swear we were the happiest people alive. She'd come to all the plays we did and tell me whether I did shit or not. I'd read her thesis and nitpick her phrasing or depth... It was the kind of relationship that's so full and absorbed you can forget you're separate people. Weeks start going by and we don't see each other with schedules, a month goes by without a meaningful conversation but... God, Eds another year passed before I could let it go."

"What about Sandy?" He asked. "Did she try to break it off first."

"Plenty times," he groaned, shrinking into his past self as his nose twitched irritably. "She'd come over every now and again and every fucking time there was that dark cloud of knowing it wasn't working but... I flat out refused to accept it, for a while I'd call her up and try to act as if nothing had changed. But... I was talking to the person she was when we started dating, Eds and I hadn't accepted that people change. Hell, I had too."

"That sounds exhausting," Eddie found himself whispering. "I understand being in love with the version of a person who doesn't exist anymore but... For a year, I don't think I could do that."

His lip quirked at that, pinching his cheeks amusedly. "Our hearts are weak in different ways, Eddie.K."

"Why're we like this?" The man asked wearily, more to himself than anything else. "We were so stupid..."

"We were just kids in love, Eds." He murmured into his head. "We didn't know any better."

"I feel like we still don't know any better," Eddie found himself replying. "At least... I don't. I think Bev's helped you a lot."

"Yeah," the dark-haired boy smiled, "she has but... Outside of her, I don't know how much has changed or how to have relationships that take over everything. I don't want to pull someone who keeps pushing away 'cause that isn't fair, at all."

With that a peaceful silence extended towards them in a vast swirl of weary waves, wrapping the two students in the other's weakness and heartbreak and vulnerability and it worked in unison to protect them from any dangers outside. In the dark of the impending evening arms twisted around each other in such foretelling protection it would kill both to intrude upon it, as into the night words were spoken in tired, soft whispers:

"Thank you for staying with me."

"Anytime Eds, anytime."


	5. Teenage Heartbreak Queen

  
Eddie Kaspbrak had grown increasingly fond of the Tozier/Denbrough/Hanscom dorm room. 

This new growth had been sparked by his best friend's newfound close friendship with the two other boys. Most notably was her friendship with Ben Hanscom who she never seemed to tire of teasingly flirting with as they talked about all sorts of things, ranging from music to childhood phases and all sorts it was so very different to her friendship with Bill Denbrough or Richie. There was a softness to the way she spoke and talked of Ben and yet it was in Bill Denbrough her eyes travelled to first when entering the room and this gave Eddie a moments pause when first hanging out with them.

Despite how it ground on the brunette to admit this, out of them all Richie Tozier remained the only one he would ever find himself spending time with outside the dorm. However, there had been a late evening where Bill Denbrough had been home alone and in search of a friend that the medicine major had spent three hours with him. Your first assumption regarding Bill Denbrough may very well be that he was full of himself, as so many English majors are, and you would be partially correct but... He could understand what Bev meant when she said something sucked you into Bill. The way he talked was with the conviction of a leader, his involvement with whoever he was conversing with steadfast and his eyes a piercing sort of blue that didn't seem to let you go. Big Bill was - in Richie's words - a good guy but could be pretty intense. 

That being said he didn't have anything against the three guys and despite the wafting overkill of weed and cigarette smoke, it was a nice place to spend after a long day, to sit next to the banged-up record player and hear debates over dinner. In the morning he had gone by to see the redhead only to witness a strange combination of their dynamics. As Bev sat next to Ben in whispering intrigue on a new show they'd discovered together, Richie Tozier was in a corner, book open in his lap and a cigarette dangling ash dangerously close to the white linen. It wasn't that the three of them couldn't all hang out together, it was that the drama major was completely silenced as if to give the other two their own moment.

"Uh... Hello?"

Only one to look up, Richie Tozier gave him a grin of relief as he tossed the book aside, not even marking the page as he stood next to him with a lucratively inane expression. Leaning against the side of the wall he merely nodded to the two sat together, to the way Bev's eyes remained glued to the screen while Ben's flickered to her in adoring observation. "Thought I'd let Benny Boy have his moment."

"So he-" Stopping mid-sentence the medicine major was hit with a wave of softness for the sight, nudging his friend back. "Cute."

"Not as cute as you, Ed-"

"Bev! Time to leave."

Looking up at them in surprise the redhead apologetically slipped the architecture major a smile, approaching the two boys bitterly. Her boys, as she called them. It was time to go back to their dorm. 

Walking back to their dorm that day Bev Marsh had discovered a small note left in her bag, and it was with wide eyes and curled lips she read it. Inside this blustered letter was a short poem, one so lovely that as the redhead scanned the lines with a nuance they heard repeatedly. While the reading continued the two boys took care of classwork individually, looking up at each other every now and then. However, if you were to see the three friends sat there it became more than clear they were desperate to talk to each other rather than read anything. 

_"Your hair is winter fire, January embers,"_ she started again with a hand to her chest, other wiping said winter fire from her eyes. _"My heart burns here too_! Okay, seriously who wrote this I'm heating up just reading it? Rich? Any bets?"

"You don't really think _Richie_ could write that?" Eddie couldn't help but slip out, eyes lifting from his notes. 

"Hey!" A booming voice called, gargled with their mouthwash. 

"Well, the only place I've been these last few days is your dorm," Bev called to her friend, looking back down at it happily. "You think... Do you think it was Bill? Being an English major and all I really wouldn't put it passed him."

Striding into the dorm with a flushed expression, Richie and Eddie swapped a knowingly horrified look. If there was one thing they were sure of it was that the poem had not been from Bill Denbrough, and it was the secrecy of it all that nearly gave them an aneurysm. For the sake of Ben's modest timidity, they hadn't corrected her, wanting him to do it on his own time but the insinuation it was the balding writer threw the two of them into such deep despair Eddie found himself biting his knuckles. Wanting so badly to get out of there before the truth burst out of him the brunette shot up with startling speed, in preparation for his first day at work.

"Well, I have to a new job to get to but," Eddie departed, anticipation spreading in his overly antsy hands, thigh muscle twitching in a screaming warning to leave and protect his friend's little admiration. "But good luck with your secret admirer Bev Holmes. Later asshole."

The first goodbye had been paired with a kiss to the forehead, the second an affectionate shoulder bump as they carried equal warmth on his way out. The fondness in the '_asshole_' part had grown exponentially and you could take that however you wanted to. Eddie Kaspbrak did, in fact, have a new job to get to. If there was one true fact in life it was that college was expensive, that living in itself was expensive and if you wanted to battle through the next two years it was imperative you found work. That being said the medicine major had found himself not a placement in any medical practice but as a mechanic, an hour or so down from the campus. He'd worked somewhere similar the summer of two years ago.

In retrospect, those few months of summer had been some of his happiest before leaving and it was with a deep intake of petrol that Eddie felt something had clicked back in place, as if this revival of an old summer job would be a catalyst for more sweet remembrances. The excitement was taking hold of his limbs and it might've resulted in an overzealous handshake but all the same, his opportunist mentality hadn't been shaken, at least until his second customer in which Eddie Kaspbrak realized exactly the type of swearing ill-tempered businessmen he'd be dealing with. 

It would be a _long_ day. 

**22:23**

By the time Eddie had finished off for the night darkness was descending upon the outside world. Lingering inside for a couple more stalling moments it crashed on him in waves that he maybe should've taken that ride home instead of trying to show off and make a good impression, since by the time he was halfway through the journey it would inevitably be far too dark to tell lamposts from people. Well... He'd made his bed. The journey here via Stan had been around an hour but when staring at the winding road the brunette got the sense that it may very well have been over an hour, obscured by the time he'd spent away from his friend and all they'd had to talk about. It was a long walk and after working half the day on his feet the last thing he really wanted to do was start this journey yet... Right foot forward the journey commenced. 

For the first ten minutes, a negative or witless thought hadn't crossed his mind, that is to say until Sonia Kaspbrak's warning of drunk driving and reckless abandon flashed like a warning sign in front of him. No, there wasn't any teenagers around here and even if there was half of them would be closer to the campus, closer to a source of alcohol and food and warmth people... People didn't just wander around drunkenly at night. It was just as these thoughts were wriggling their way out of his forefront that a clunking and whirring of a truck stopped beside him and, pulling over the involuntarily spike in Eddie's heart shot his blood pressure to all Hell. Almost grudgingly glancing at this stranger behind the wheel his eyes were barely given time to advance when - 

"Want a ride?"

"Richie?"

Like that, for the next minute, two friends stared each other down in confounded realisation of who the other was and just exactly the time of night it was. Unwilling to omit his great relief at the arrival of this stoner of a God-send he merely shuffled around the front and hopped in with shivering endurance. In the developing moments, Eddie let the hot air sink into his skin as the expansive road shrunk behind them and everything seemed to shift back into a normal time frame, one where he could clearly identify lamposts in the distance. 

It wasn't that the medicine major didn't think he could've made it back alone, he could've albeit with stilted posture and an abundance of over-the-shoulder checks, but it was nice to know he'd never have to prove this fact. Looking onto the expansive road, Tame Impala or Joy Division or whatever kind of music Richie's radio station played and there was a mutual understanding that Eddie had been lucky. The grip on the steering wheel tightening Richie looked over at him in disbelief. It was getting pretty dark. 

"Jesus fuck, what were you thinking walking this far?" He asked, tapping the wheel in apprehensive imagining. "It's dark as Hell you could've been _murdered_."

"Okay, _Dad_." Eddie couldn't help but smile casting a glance up his way. "I was supposed to get a lift from a friend but he had to take off early. I started working part-time for the auto shop down there."

"Still," lips were pursed in worrying persistence. "You could've called Bev or... Don't you have a car? How are you working as a mechanic without a car? Isn't that against the law-"

"I have a licence!" The brunette chided him, willfully finding the worrying a little endearing, a little heartwarming as he pulled on his grease-stained shirt. "My mom wouldn't let me get a car though - she said the statistics of dying on the road were too high - and my phones dead. But hey, you're here _now_ right?"

"I almost went the other way, Eds. I almost _wasn't_ here..."

It was then that the medicine major noticed the edge in his voice, noted the way the skin over his knuckles stretched translucent over the wheel... Richie wasn't just worried he was _terrified_ of something happening to Eddie on the walk back. Knawing his bottom lip he knew it wasn't smart to make fun, and so it was with slow movements the brunette spread his frostbitten hand over his friend's pale knuckles. It was an apology and it was a reassurance that everything would be fine. After a moment those obscured eyes fell to his face, eyebrows slackened and his mouth upturned into a weak smile before he nudged his shoulder. "Sorry, it's just kinda scary to imagine you walking alone. Probably just the October air."

"October air" Eddie parroted amusedly. "Now that you mention it I'm pretty sure I did serve a guy with a rotting eye socket..."

With that little silence breaker, the two boys unwinded from their anxious overseeing of the neighbourhood and relaxed into each other's company. It was only as Pearl Jam faded into Alanis Morisette and argumentative discussion sparked that the two of them unknowingly drove into an obstacle. It was with an insistence that Eddie stared at the driver in accusation. "Any reason all your costume suggestions for me are women?"

"You just have the legs for it, Eds." He denied, never taking his eyes off the road although with the shit-eating grin he knew it was an acceptable answer. Flittingly glancing at him he just started laughing harder. "Besides, my main mission this Halloween isn't to check out your legs, it's to make sure Bev finds out who the poems from... Or at least has a rough idea."

"That's awfully noble," the brunette couldn't help but comment. "Would you not feel awkward about that though?"

"Hm?" He hummed, blinking in rapid digestion. "Oh, well... Would you feel weird if _I_ dated someone?" 

Taking fault to this logic it threw him for a loop at first. If Bev were to date Ben that wouldn't feel weird to him because they were both his friends, that was the reason Richie and the redhead being together had seemed so natural despite their claiming their relationship to be 'the world's greatest platonic yet sexual romance.' Any of his friends dating wouldn't feel weird because he'd be happy for them but... The application of it to Richie on his own left a bad taste in his mouth. He wouldn't question it. "No, it wouldn't. I'd be happy for you..."

"Exactly!" The drama major concluded although if you paid attention and if you knew the man well enough, you would see the way that wide smile fell a fraction.

"If anyone would treat our girl right it would be Haystack I mean have you seen the way he looks at her? He writes her sonnets, Ed's fucking _sonnets_. Shakespeare was a fraud but only because Ben Hanscom exists and could sell him out in a moment I mean _'your hair is winter fires'_ that shit is fucking cute. Imagine -"'

With this tireless rant came a breaking halt to their journey down the road. The ten-minute journey that had another forty to go was stopped short as with a great heave the engine gave out, in a final glorious huff it tried to crawl on yet died. "Are you _fucking_ kidding me?"

Without much of a second thought, Eddie Kaspbrak hopped out of the vehicle and with grease-stained hands lifted the hood of the monstrosity that was Richie Tozier's car, only to get a suffocating embrace of fumes. Feeling the quiet of the night sink into his bare forearms, it became evident that it hadn't been taken for a check-up in years. As the black fumes lifted, rusted pipes were revealed and Eddie choked back a nise of disgust. 

Out of the car himself, Eddie could hear the driver shuffling around the back of the vehicle, mournfully nudging it with his heel. "Better patch it up, Eds!" 

"They don't let you take the tools home, asshole!" He yelled back. "God, your carburettor is fucked how on earth did you even manage to let it get this bad? It isn't that expensive if you fix it right away..."

"God, love it when you talk about cars Eds," the voice was suddenly a whole lot closer, leaning against the busted hood with what could very likely be all his weight. Despite his height, Eddie would be willing to bet he was stronger, or at least capable of lifting him up. "It's so sexy, really gets me going."

Slamming the hood to break off the jokes Eddie realized the truth was setting in for the two of them, they were stranded forty-odd minutes from campus. Walking around with a hand shuffling through his hair the brunette thought through their options steadily before glancing over his shoulder. "We could walk?"

"What?" Richie stared at him in unabashed shock, arms flapping towards the ongoing road. "You think we should walk back?"

"I mean," Eddie replied, arms crossed in challenged. "_I_ could. I don't know about your noodle legs. Besides, safety in numbers and if we get murdered they'll take you first. You're tall, noticeable. I'm small _endearing_ and could possibly convince them I'm only twelve."

All of a sudden the man's fronting inflexion came into his posture, toughening his shoulders and sagging his waist. Teeth between his lips the drama major puffed up his body about as much as it would allow him before it was stolen from under him. "Obviously I could do this walk, Eds I just wouldn't want your delicate feet to get sore. I mean, these noodle legs could walk with you on my back and still have strength left over. Also, you do _not_ look twelve Edwardo."

"Then prove it." The brunette found himself sprouting and although it hadn't been a purposeful grin it took over his face at the affronted look on the others. It was a joke and yet he had said it with such conviction Richie's head was turning with whether to take it seriously or not. For whatever reason, the day's work and the companionship of being stranded together was getting to his head... Or maybe it was the exhaust fumes. 

Watching him with diluted curiosity it took a further few seconds before with a sunny smile the film major knelt in front of him. "Hop on."

Without a word, the medicine major jumped on and noted the stuttering pant from the man underneath him. "So? Let's go."

Without even a confirmation, long limbs set off in a sprint as shrieks sounded from above and breath turned ragged the two boys tired themselves without rest for at least five minutes. Laughs were spirited away in the wind and limbs flew freely before once more tightening around the torso, tears from the cold leaving only laughter decipherable. Taking to a sudden halt, a screech fought it's way in Eddie's throat, digging his ankles into Richie's stomach before sliding down in breathless glee. Tumbling against one another they made it to the truck, stabilizing themselves.

"You- You could've warned me you'd start running!"

"Where'd the fun in that be?" The other replied, throwing himself down onto the blanketed truck's stretch, arms behind his head in satisfaction. "C'mon, I'll text a pick-up line but we'll probably have to wait a while."

Those first few moments laying next to each other were spent with a lack of breathing as they tried to regain a semblance of lung capacity, only when they did look at each other there was a spillage of laughs as if the hilarity of their breathlessness was too much to handle in itself. Looking between them Eddie noticed the other's glasses beside them and with nimble fingers reached for them, sitting up like a bolt with them slid onto his face. A painful fuzzing of the head shocked him. "Holy shit you're _blind_?"

Turning to face him then Richie stared, eyes wide as saucers and cheeks colouring. Watching him in partial amazement and parted lips, it was astounding how the brunette's impression of him threw him back to that summer, age thirteen. Or maybe it was that for the first time since then his mind felt truly peaceful, at rest. This train of thought didn't last long but it left its mark on his face. 

"Everything okay? Sorry I didn't know you were this visually impaired I would've teased you more about it."

"Y-yeah, it's fine." The drama major brushed off clearly not all fine as he stared at the boy a few moments longer is desperate indecision. Shaking it off he pinched Eddie's cheek knowingly. "You're just so cute with 'em on Eds, almost didn't recognize you."

"I can't see anything in these, man." he bluffed unbelievably. "Can you even see me right now? If I put fingers up could you count them? If I punched you-"

With a swift push, Eddie Kaspbrak was on his back choking on his own jokes, barely able to see the man who pushed him. Sliding them off his face the brunette then took in the man's full expression with rough pale skin, long lashes and a mouth bitten to shreds as he smartly manoeuvred the glasses up to his face. It completed the image of his friend. If Eddie was honest he kept his hands on the glasses a little too long when placing them there, observing how the light of the dim stars reflected off the lenses, and how they sat on his nose just above a characteristic bump. Hands falling a crooked smile took place. "Better?"

It seemed to him at that moment Richie hadn't heard him those tinged blue eyes looking down on him in questioning before they shot to the sky and he threw himself beside him again. "Eh, the worlds a pretty ugly place."

"Pretty beautiful too though."

"Yeah... It is."

In what could've been a profound moment for anyone other than them, the drama and medicine major made the mistake of looking at each other with earsplitting grins. The two statements did resonate with them though, as in the moment's silence extending between them it became clear the world could be hideous, it could be cruel and an awful place to reside but then... There were moments like these.

"You know," Eddie said, the smile still fixed. "I really didn't like you at first."

"I mean," Richie instantly replied. "I can't imagine why, first meeting and you got to see my dick that's usually a winner."

"Your dick is the last thing I want to see in the morning Tozier" He laughed out, foot nudging his playfully. "That hasn't changed but I just wanted to say I was wrong. I feel like I owe you that cause I wasn't fair about it at the beginning with you and Bev... I was just nervous, y' know? That it would mean less time with her or something 'cause dude, she really... Means the world to me."

"I get that," The drama major smiled, cheeks creasing in their understanding. "Sometimes I think Bev's the only one who could tell me to get my shit together and I'd actually try, not just for her but me too she just has that sort of power."

"I'm glad you have her." It was hard to keep the emotion out of his voice when he said this. "And I'm glad I let myself be friends with you."

"That's cheesy as fuck, Eds." He cooed, looping his arm through his. "But the same. I wouldn't want to be stranded in the dark in the middle of winter with anyone else."

"Don't get too cocky," Eddie warned him warmly all while making no move to pull his arm back. "If a murderer sneaks up on us this you're volunteering as a sacrifice."

It struck Eddie then how picturesque this felt, how cliched and dreamlike they must've looked under the stars with their chests heaving eyes adorning a glow the sky itself might envy. He was truly happy at that moment. Not to give the impression happiness was a stranger in his life but right then laying next to someone who he knew would stay there no matter what, who worried for him so much... It was a feeling he thought he'd only get with Bev. And yet... When he looked over at this scruffy boy, this comically ashen portrait of a man there was an ache in his chest he had never had with the redhead.

Perhaps it was a lack of close relationships with many boys his own age in his youth or the almost drunken feeling of sharing something as vast as the sky with someone, but something clicked into place for Eddie Kaspbrak that night. He wanted so badly to tell someone, to let it shoot out of him like a comet exploding into an orbit but... he didn't. Instead, Eddie opened his mouth and said: "Your truck stinks of weed."

A chortle bubbled out of the other's chest. "I think that's just me."

Just like that the two of them laughed their lungs out into the dead night. Whether a serious word wanted to escape or not the conversation would fade into giggles of indecision and nonsensical illiteracy until lights flashed, indicating their saviour's arrival. Neither of them would say it but in the hush of it all, there was an agreement that they'd hoped the help would've taken longer.

Even so, they hopped off the truck in a startling thrust back to reality. Clothes crumpled and eyes squinting Eddie couldn't help but look up at his friend, looking to see if there was a mirror of that same sense of disappointment in their night being interrupted. The light that poured onto the man's glasses obscured any sure interpretation, and it was with that the medicine major shook off the adoration. He bumped the tall man's shoulder instead, "Let's get home."

**00:12**

Slowly entering the room it wasn't certain what the two men had expected but it wasn't a freshly bathed, wide-awake Bev Marsh sitting cross-legged on her bed with the poem in hand, damp hair tied in a topknot. What the brunette had expected, however, was the look of annoyance, relief and surprise when she looked up at them, stalking towards them comically in Bugs Bunny slippers. Barely processing the quick-paced attack Eddie Kaspbrak found himself stumbling to stay upright as his best friend tackled him into a tight hug, letting his arms weakly circling her waist in apologetic empathy, the dull beat of his heart radiating enough guilt for the both of them.

Article Two of the Kaspbrak/Marsh Manifesto: if staying out late always give notice. 

"My phone died!" Eddie couldn't help but clarify, looking to his best friend persuadingly. "I was going to get a lift home with a friend but they left earlier and... I started walking but Rich picked me up 'cause it was getting pretty dark."

"Yeah," Richie finished, looking gratefully to him before turning the charm onto Bev. "And my truck broke down a couple of miles before here so we had to wait for help just... Don't be mad, baby. I was helping out Eds."

Looking between the two of them in an unimpressed evaluation, that pensive posture melted into one of fatigued forgiveness like butter. It didn't take much for her to get over grudges when they involved her best friend not when every time she looked at his big brown eyes she saw the first year she'd met at a crowded party. That eighteen years old who within the first week of knowing him had become an extension of herself. Some days Bev Marsh thought she'd sooner forsake her whole family than intentionally hurt the little brother she'd found in Eddie Kaspbrak. Scratch that, Eddie was her family at this point.

Apologies behind them, the three friends had relaxed into a familiar state of relaxation until the redhead pinched Eddie's arm in remembrance. "Oh! Your Josh came over."

"Oh..."

Biting back a shudder there was a beat of silence before the two boys exchanged looks over her head and with an extended arm, Eddie felt a hand squeeze his shoulder. Looking between the two of them once more her brows furrowed. "Okay, what the fuck? Ya'll telepathic now?"

And with another ironically sneaked look Eddie took in a deep breathe. 

**11:15**

The conversation regarding Josh Graham had been a short one. Heading back to his own dorm to give the two best friend's time to talk over the situation Richie Tozier had unintentionally been the catalyst for one of the worst night's sleep of the brunette's life, most on the list including the redhead. The two friends had a sort of pact that when it was a difficult night or old wounds were reopened or a night terrors woke them with a fright it was unanimously acceptable to slip into the other's bed as an act of support.

In concept, this system was sweet in concept and even the first hour Eddie loved the system. On nights where he could barely sleep it really did help to hear the beat of Bev's heart against his ear, feel the bristling of her hair and have her bittersweet perfume. That being said, Bev Marsh was an awful person to share a bed with. Short legs couldn't have taken up more room if they tried as by five in the morning the brunette had been promptly kicked out of bed three times, with scratches of a feral cat painting his arm and took refuge in the couch. 

It did not particularly help that at the moments he'd opened his eyes, hours away from his actual wake-up time, Bev Marsh was curled peacefully with the poem clutched to her chest. He really couldn't be mad at her. It felt as if his eyes had only been closed five minutes when an booming voice called: "Psych time, _baby_!"

**12:25**

Eddie Kaspbrak had taken psychology for much the same reason he'd chosen to major in medicine - he wanted to help people, understand the meaning behind decisions and state. Well, that and after his seventeenth year Eddie took to researching his medication, and what symptoms he really had. Much to his dismay, there was a very low percentage of the medication he actually needed and even less medication that had reliable properties.

These so-called illnesses ended up being less physical medication and more possible therapy for the psychological damage he had been dealt with in his youth. It was safe to say amidst these newfound discoveries Eddie Kaspbrak had made up his mind to do the following things: move as far away from Sonia Kaspbrak he could, get a part-time job to fund his doing so and lastly make sure no one suffered the invasive, sick meddling he had to deal with in those pivotal and formative years. Years of second-guessing his own judgements and being petrified of a world that was out to get him, a world with vicious claws waiting to inject him with the venom of the human condition - change. 

That being said he had a real interest in the area and in most cases, this meant he paid vivid attention to what was being said by their lecturer... Most cases, meaning any timeline pre-Richie Tozier. The class was ending in ten minutes yet he couldn't quite be sure if he'd taken in half of it, let alone prepared for next week's check up on their progress and understanding. And he was certainly not prepared for the humiliating ordeal of asking Richie to parrot what had been said because by some awful talent he could talk a mile a minute while still retaining every bit of information being taught.

Eddie Kaspbrak hated Richie Tozier, but not in the way he used to. He despised his IQ and how the same man who asked if orangutans knew life was a simulation was the one who could list the pros and cons of MSM. He hated that he stayed up past three in the morning playing indie horror games but would be knocking on the dorm door's at seven in the morning with a bag of Doritos and coffee for everyone in a chipper drawl, ready for a day of knowledge. He hated that he went days without showering and yet whenever he showed up stoned at the door he looked fine, _good_ even. 

He hated that at first he'd _hated_ being called _Eds_ and now he responded to it like a birthname, that it was a natural inclination now to let him tousel his hair and more than anything, that Bev was right, Richie Tozier was a pretty amazing guy. 

"Eds?"

Lifting his head from his notes the action gave him severe whiplash to his prior train of thought. He responded to it! Even so, he gave the small smile the one where little pocketed dents appeared beside his lips and his brows furrowed together. He gave him the look that said _'I'm tired as fuck but I will try my hardest to listen to what you're saying because you're my friend.' _

"Yeah?"

"You decided on your Halloween costume yet? Bev's considered going as Scully so I might just tip old Haystack off so he can woo her with his smouldering Mulder looks."

The idea of the two seeing each other in matching costume was enough to split that tired smile to a grin and he entertained the idea with fond reprieve for the both of them. In all honesty, Eddie had more often than not taken Bev's ideas in stride and now couldn't find himself prioritizing the occasion but, he persisted.

The class ended and as he was mulling it over, he noted that Richie's eyes hadn't left him in the process almost as if he hoped to read his thoughts. Buying himself time Eddie simply looked him straight in the face and echoing his all-too-familiar line said: "You're Mom. Why?"

"Actually Edward my Mother is a _lovely_ woman." He prefaced with narrowed eyes, mouth stretched humorously. "But nah, I get if you want to keep it a surprise Eds, just don't make it too sexy you don't want to give me a heart attack."

Elbowing him on the way out the door a pleased smile wormed it's way onto his face, leading him to duck. It was just as the film major had playfully pushed him back their joyful parrying stopped.

With a shuttering halt, Eddie's feet stopped, with his arms still brustling against the other's he looked up at Richie to make sure they were seeing the same thing. Stood sheepishly outside their psychology class was Josh Graham in a white checkered shirt and forcibly upkeeping a smile. His eyes were ringed heavily underneath, hair unkempt and the falteringly smile gave him unhinged energy that made Eddie back into his friend slightly.

Attempting to smile back, Eddie couldn't help but notice Josh's eyes were no longer latched onto his face. Instead, they hovered over Richie's leather jacket, the same leather jacket Eddie had worn on the date. _Fuck_. With a compressed smile, the film major's eyes darted back to him. "_Hey_."

"Hey."

"Would it be okay if we talked?" 


	6. Life of the Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist of most of the songs i envisioned playing at different moments of the party so :') if you wanna listen : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7MoTzc4mrR53JF6KHimbjk?si=9KWjc3qlT8yaZ9LCN76l6Q

"It isn't as if I don't like Bill!" Bev had started to preface as she walked the dorm, poem in hand and cigarette flaking onto the carpet. "I just... Is it selfish to want it to be Ben? Rich, what do you think? And don't-"

"I still think it was a little mean to eliminate me as a possible admirer so soon," he threw into the room with a pout as he stared at the woman upside down, legs propped against the door casually. Throwing a look at him the drama major cracked a sly grin. "Rights Eds? I totally could've been the poet."

"Oh yeah!" The brunette gassed up as he met his best friend's eyes with amusement for the conundrum. It had been like this since she'd first read the little note and since then it had been a continual game between the two boys to protect the architect major's little secret, at least until he was ready to tell her himself. "I mean what was it you came out with yesterday? That I was-"

"As fresh as a young red rose!" Richie exclaimed with a flourish as his legs fell down loudly leaving him crumpled on the bed. "Genius! I know!"

"I'm pretty sure that was Shakespeare or something," Bev threw in wryly, stopping in her haughty tracks to sit next to her crumped friend as she ruffled his hair roughly. "You sure you'll be okay with me just hitching off with whoever this mystery poet is?"

"_Again_ why is it so hard to believe I - Of course, Bev." It didn't take much for a tone to set into his head at least not when it was the redhead. She had a way of getting her point across with so much as a hand gesture or particular brow raise. "It isn't like I don't have backups I mean people are just _lining_ up to get a piece of _this_,"

Flittingly rolling his eyes at the gesture Eddie couldn't help but look down when Richie faced him with a wiggling eyebrow with the prodding question he wouldn't ask but knew was clear enough, it was a double check as to whether he still planned to go with Josh which was a question he replied to in equal silence with a nod, earning a pressed smile in return that tries as he might - he couldn't figure it out. But the thing was with Josh... The situation was... Well, their conversation yesterday had gone like this - Richie right next to him:

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure."

Only Eddie had noticed a moment too late that the film major was looking pointedly as his friend to silently clarify he meant alone that their conversation did not, in fact, have to include one Richie Tozier, nor did the blonde particularly want to see him at that moment. So with the dawning realization, the brunette fixed the drama major with a diluted version of the look and a contained smile that to them and only them meant they'd meet up later. It was weird how the two boys had developed their own language in all the time left to their own devices to their own companionship and humour. It was clear Josh thought this to some degree as he stared after the leather-clad shoulders until they were out of sight.

"Cafe?" The blonde suggested although with the taken aback expression he quickly backpedalled with a scratch the neck. Okay then, just the outside benches?"

"Yeah," Eddie found himself agreeing quietly as he trailed like a sorry puppy behind him, resisting the urge to pluck at a loose thread at the urge to let everything tumble down in unpracticed chaos. "Sorry."

Now in the outside campus with fresh air pummeling into his lungs Eddie Kaspbrak gave himself a moment to collect himself, a moment to realize nothing bad was going to happen as a result of this talk and in all likelihood, things would smooth other with Josh. Josh Graham was the nice guy and he was funny and attractive and he had beautiful blue - _green_, the blonde had green - eyes. It wasn't as if-

"Did... Did I do something he really bad?" He asked him, eyes mottled in brown and pleading in such a way the brunette sat down beside him with the effect. "I mean I know it was sudden I just... I'm really sorry?"

"It isn't your fault, honest it isn't I'm the one who should apologize..." He spoke it with clarity and yet the situation didn't feel quite real it didn't feel as if Eddie should be explaining his reaction to him. But he deserved to know it wasn't his fault. "It's just that the last time a guy told me he loved me that soon after a date it wasn't - it wasn't for a good reason and I was young and stupid-"

"Was it Richie Tozier?" Josh prolonged, imploring him as if to uncover some dark underbelly of his life, of the relationships that had defined him and their last encounter and who he may have to confront if they had hurt Eddie this badly. At least, this was a mild over-analysis as to anyone other than the medicine major moment it was clear as day - Josh was jealous. 

"_What_? N-No," Eddie spat hurriedly double-taking the man's expression as his shoulders pricked up, "Richie would _never_ \- it was an older guy I was dating at the time. My first boyfriend."

"Okay," The blonde digested, his mouth pressed in a tight line before looking back to him apologetically. It was with this look that the brunette relaxed a bit as his shoulders dropped the way they had their first date, first conversation. Seemingly relieved himself at this Josh donned a bright smile. "I just really like you, Eddie and I'm really sorry for scaring you off like that but... Would you maybe want to go to the Halloween party tomorrow? Just as a test re-run or another second date-"

Eddie didn't quite know why he had done this but at that moment in the middle of the film major's sentence he had leaned over to kiss him softly and briefly. Fleetingly. Eddie had kissed him and it was a nice kiss and he was smiling at him but... Something felt a little different, not on account of their mishap but for whatever reason the small man had a nagging feeling in his stomach. A feeling that seemed to tell him he wasn't doing this for the right reason. He chose to ignore that for now as he agreed to the offer of going to the Halloween party together. 

Halloween parties were always a big deal at their college as while his total one-year experience Eddie Kaspbrak still gagged at the wafting of pink gin under his nose and still heard Basshunter throwback remixes whenever said drink was in his general vicinity, his thighs tingling the way cold air had nipped him in the short red shorts and tousled his hair... It felt as if it was yesterday and he supposed it was a premonition of sorts for what was to come. Last year had been chaotic but it had been fun and in any situation where Bev Marsh was to be found smoking blunt and sharing childhood stories with a stranger, it was a good time. "I'd love to."

God, it was awful but while uttering those three words Eddie just prayed they were true or more accurately that nothing would get in the way of their truth. He liked Josh a lot and he certainly loved the way he would laugh at his jokes no matter how poor and how he instinctively seemed to have a hand on him whenever they were together, whether it was on the small of his back or resting on his arm it was a nice constant to have.

Although, flashforward to the descending night of the party and Eddie couldn't help but second-guess their going together as like the rest of his friends was big on matching costumes - Bev had made the decision to be Kim Possible and Richie would tip Ben off to be Ron - so he had proposed many an idea before the brunette caved into the most recent one, barely having heard what it was.

**23:00**

It was _Grease_. Fucking 'Grease!' The couple costume Josh had chosen that is and it was absolutely so as Eddie stood at the entrance of the Halloween party - Richie had optioned off his dorm as the main entrance as the drama kids planned it - dressed in tight black leather trousers and an equally fitted vest and all he could do beside flush a red was thank God Josh had settled on a two-piece version of the outfit. Hailing himself as Danny it was clear the film major was pretty pleased with the costumes or more accurately he was absolutely pleased with the way he kept going to squeeze Eddie's leg. 

Suddenly, Eddie couldn't help but wish he'd gone as anyone else even _Nancy Spurgeon or Norman Bates_ or, you know, anyone who was able to move without the fear of bursting a pair of fine leather trousers in a painful imitation of a woman whose figure seemed virtually impossible to obtain. Eddie didn't think it was possible for Olivia Newton-John to move in reality, they'd had to edit her in somehow. With any sense of discomfort, the medicine major possessed it was now mingled with blasting music, garbled voices, unfamiliar faces and one very familiar one across the room whose eyes he met immediately. 

If Josh had noticed the way Eddie's rigidity loosened upon seeing Richie then he didn't comment on anything as he patted his back softly before excusing himself to go talk to someone he hadn't seen in weeks. Not too disappointed at this the brunette paced towards his friend with a flattened smile as he anticipated all the possible comments on his costume. As heavily hinted beforehand Richie Tozier had spiked up his hair, lined his hair and donned a fake leather jacket like the self-proclaimed Sid Vicious he was born to be and, in all honesty, Eddie couldn't debunk that statement as upon closer inspection the wind was threatened to be knocked out of him. 

It wasn't as if Richie Tozier was out-of-this-world-attractive but at that moment he was close to it, at least to Eddie Kaspbrak as he studied him with as much secrecy possible, observing the way the bands of black wrapped around his waterline lending his blue eyes a polish so piercing the brunette moved on to other parts of the outfit. Although the spiked hair looked ridiculous it was pretty spot-on for what he was going for as was the leather jacket which was layered over... Well, nothing. What Eddie had assumed was a pale undershirt was actually the drama major's skin and it had him dazed for a couple of seconds as he worked his way back to a greeting, although it appeared he wouldn't get a chance to say anything as Richie took in his outfit with a fellow swoop and bit the inside of his cheek. 

"Oh... _Oh_! Look at you you're Sandra Dee!" Richie practically sang into his face in a barely contained falsetto as with the expression on his face a laugh was suffocating in his chest. "Oh, _Eds_-"

"I _know_," he prefaced in retaliation and although he wanted so very badly to keep a stern face a smile was worming its way into his face. "God he - Josh - wanted us to go in a paired costume and he's a film major so I asked him what his favourite movie was and -"

"_Grease_?" The drama major guffawed with puffed up cheeks, a pitiful smile turning to appraise as he further took in the outfit. "He... He's a film major and his favourite movie is _Grease_? Man, I'm sorry but I don't know if I can let you keep seeing him Eddie Spaghetti..."

"He should've been the Sandy," Eddie relented in admonishment of the last comment, too wary to process it fully when he'd just had trouble maintaining eye contact. "He's blonde and-"

"He doesn't have the legs for it, Eds." His friend reminded him, a wanton smile settling on his lips before he bumped his hip against his. "Any chance I'll get to see you two perform a number? Have to say it would hurt my heart, Edwardo y'know what with me being the perfect John Travolta tribute act."

For whatever reason, that comment brought a heatwave to his cheeks and Looking up at him with a sly smile he couldn't quite resist the urge to poke him a little. "Were you waiting for me to show up?"

"Uh... Not everything revolves around you, Eds," Richie spat out at him quickly, crossing his arms in faux irritation. It didn't work well after the smile he'd had with the teasing. "Okay maybe I kinda was but the point is... You should look over there."

Following his gaze there was a tug in Eddie's chest as sat at the other corner of the room was Kim and Ron talking amiably to one another, Bev with her hand animatedly on Ben's shoulder and Ben looking at her with an adoration so clear it hurt to think the redhead hadn't figured his anonymity out by this point. Feeling almost like two proud parental figures the two boys stood there with hands over their hearts and little idea who closely their own night would mirror that of their friends. Completely distracted from any teasing or unresolved arguments Eddie jostled the other slightly to get attention back on him and to get the gooey look out of his eye. 

"Y'know," the brunette found himself starting. "Josh almost made me go as Leia with him but I said no,"

"Thank God." Richie sighed in relief. 

"What? I thought you were crazy about the idea," Eddie frowned. "What changed your mind?"

The drama major gave him an appalled look, hand to his bare chest. "There can only be _one_ Han Solo, Eds and it is _definitely_ me."

"Whatever you nerd," Eddie shot back amusedly, resisting the urge to mess up his spiked hair as he stepped back. "It isn't like-"

"Eds!"

It felt as if someone had doused him in cold water. As if his own name was called Richie looked around with him to see where the voice had called him from before haltingly stopping on Josh Graham, clustered with his fellow film majors in bright pride for the boy he was calling to. Turning to him with raised eyebrows Richie Tozier gave him a defensively humorous smile, upturned lips elusive irritation he'd never show the brunette. However, it seemed Eddie's sour expression was enough to melt that hidden irritation into a genuine smile as he nudged his shoulder. "Go on, _Eds_. I'll keep tabs on our girl."

No matter how cynical the nickname was meant to sound it that moment any bitterness diluted itself automatically when directed at the short medicine major and it didn't go unmissed as on his way over to the blonde Eddie couldn't help but swivel back. "You look really good, Rich."

For the next hour, Eddie was introduced to his kind-of-boyfriend's friend group which unsurprisingly consisted of film majors and the occasional art history major and despite their reputation it seemed they could all connect on a deeper level than assumed pretention. The brunette did his best to listen politely and it certainly helped that occasional the blonde would increase their physical contact and plant a kiss on his forehead or curl his fingers around his neck but... It was obsolete. He was happy to meet new people but it then occurred to Eddie that he had not been asked a single question the entire hour and that there was no way in Hell he could contribute to a discussion about Lichtenstein's influence on colour in the grand scheme of media forms. 

It was with this newfound sense of freedom to find another way to occupy his attention that Eddie found himself abysmally searching for the person he'd left to come here, and he found him instantly : sat on a couch blunt in hand and surrounded by a gaggle of girls and odd guy as he smiled charmingly in their every direction cracking jokes and pulling stunts. It seemed a natural sight and with this, his gaze ventured to find his best friend who with a swell in his chest he noted was still sat next to Ben, although now accompanied by an extra girl with long indigo streaks in her bangs. She looked a little like her ex-girlfriend, Amy.

Letting his eyes fall back from Bev and edgingly drift one last time to Richie he was startled to find his eyes matching his direction, looking at him as if he wanted to mouth something but couldn't risk it. Feeling as if he shouldn't maintain the connection any longer the medicine major shook it off best he could and leant forward into his almost-kind-of-boyfriend and for the next hour tried his very best to stay awake and keep his eyes from wandering to other people. This next hour felt like the longest of his life. 

It was safe to say that Eddie had never wanted to slip into the unforgiving shadows of the room more. He liked making new friends, honest! It just that it was... Well, he didn't exactly comprehend what the natural process was and how it involved listening to people talk for hours on end about things like lighting design and... God, did people not interspace jokes anymore? It wasn't that the brunette was judgmental or narcissistic enough to think this kind of thing was beneath him - if anything he couldn't understand what they were talking about - but it was if it just hit him that making friends was not always effortlessly natural not always as if you'd found a missing puzzle piece you'd been hollow without. The people he was surrounded with weren't fiery redheads with an abnormal amount of resolved strength nor were they scruffy and overconfident drama majors they were not, in short, Eddie's best friends. 

It was in the moments were he saw Josh's animated expressions and mannerisms when he was around these people and saw the spark in his eye that Eddie couldn't help but shrink back from how bright he glowed, how he emanated casual ease that seemed so careless it gave him pause. It was these moments where he looked truly in his element that the brunette moved away from telling him how uncertain he was about their relationship, how there was something in his core telling him he shouldn't be going through with this but... How did you tell someone who shined so brilliantly that you didn't _like_ stars? That you might just like the clouds that covered them the clouds that were so charismatic they obscured anyone else from your vision and seemed to trap you there it... Eddie didn't quite know where he was going with this thought process but he was surely saved from its evaluation as he spotted Richie Tozier slipping from the room the way he so desperately wished to. 

With a squeeze of the man's toned arm, the brunette flashed a quick smile at his kind-of-boyfriend. "Hey, I'll be back in a bit."

Not giving Josh time to reply he zipped in between the others in an attempt to catch up barely spotting him slip through the door of the dorm as a relieved sigh vibrated through him. Shuffling into his own dorm the other man was slumped onto the couch weakly as his legs propped him up and his glasses were pushed up onto his forehead in a way that threatened to break the gel-spikes he'd worked an hour on. "Hey there."

Looking up to him in startled realization a soft grin spread through his face but it was clearly keeping it up was an effort as he braced stick-ish arms onto his knees. Bending down beside him Eddie tried to his best to make up for the weakness in his smile and shone one far brighter than he would've thought himself capable of as the warmth washed over him when Richie let out a hearty laugh at his attempt of cheering him up. "What're you doing here Eds?"

"Uh, it's my dorm asshole." He pointed out obviously moving his eyes towards everything that made it abundantly clear who lived there. "Why are _you_ here?"

"I-" He was trying to think of something witty. He gave up, "just got a little tired. Being the life of the party is tough and I just... I don't know."

Letting a beat of silence extend between them the medicine major merely gave a small, reassurance of a smile. For whatever coincidence the two of them hadn't wanted to be in that room and in their moment of reprieve it was clear they needed to be in here. 

"Fancy a drinking buddy then?" Eddie asked and it was with this stumbled question that the two boys seemed to relax into the idea of a party. A party for two... That suited Eddie and Richie pretty well. 

About an hour or three in it would be safe to say they'd drained the dorm of every last drop of alcohol, including whatever had been in an old water bottle - the prize of drinking the mystery liquid was Richie - and they were pretty pink in the face. They had drunk so much in fact that it had reached the stage of unprecedented unprompted giggling on the part of Eddie Kaspbrak as even when Richie slurred his jokes or messed up on the delivery it sent him to a fit of hysterics. It was up for debate whether that was just how the brunette reacted to his cracks on typical days. The music of the party travelled through the walls in such a way it was as if the two were in another world entirely, pushing the walls it seemed to shrink the room to their own bubble while also expanding it into a handcrafted universe of their making, only for them. 

While _The Killers_ drifted to _Frank Ocean_ to _Taylor Swift_ it could've been any artist as the two of them danced and jokes and pushed each other around the room in blissful obliviousness to anything existing outside that room. Eddie wasn't particularly certain anything _did_ exist outside the room as he watched Richie topple back onto the couch in a fit of laughter and the light pulsed a warm glow onto his exposed chest and everything seemed so very dreamlike. It wasn't as if the medicine major was _mortal_ he was definitely tipsily bordering on drunk, especially with the way he couldn't seem to stop staring at his hands every now and even as if someone had stolen them. It was an odd habit but Bev told him it was just that, a drunken habit. 

Plopping onto the couch beside them the little space left between seemed to visibly warp and shake as it led their shoulders to touch, breathy and still with more laughter begging to be released Richie whipped around to him as the first beat of a song came through the walls. Despite his having made the playlist with all the other drama kids he turned to him and said: "God, this song fucks Eddie Spaghetti."

Only when he had turned it was as if he hadn't processed how close they had been and it was with honest surprise Eddie found himself staring at chapped lips and dishonest development he let his own eyes flicker up to murky blue ones, and back down again. It was with honest longing Eddie Kaspbrak couldn't stop himself as their lips touched and his hands found themselves into thick curls it was with honest and deliberate hands he let fingers trace the skin unhidden by cheap leather. 

Pulling at the tight material of his top Richie moved his mouth briefly, taking a moments reprieve in his collarbone before looking up at him with those eyes those godforsaken long-lashed eyes with trembling raw lips beneath them. "Eds I-"

Something had to be said something should've been said it was a moment it, could've been _the_ moment where they had swapped those words or any that hinted that this was not some blissed-out escapade but... They didn't. Instead, the brunette's hand moved up to the others pale neck and tapped against it to the rough beat of _She's My Collar_, instead just as Kali Uchis' began her verse, Eddie, 's breathe fanned out onto Richie's face and with a hoarse voice he said: "Kiss me."

If the drama major had meant to ask permission with his interrupted speech it was all he needed as the heat of the drinks sloshed in their systems and hands roamed achingly in a mapping of familiar parts that had never gotten to explore this thoroughly. Eddie had held Richie's hand in moments of softness he'd watched them write notes in their Psych class he was familiar with them to no end but as they snuck under his shirt and began pressing into his skin in permanent force it was as if he'd discovered Atlantis with the way it felt. 

Slotting one thigh further between his stretched out leather-clad legs it became abundantly clear the couch was not the place for them and it was a Richie was starting to lower him onto the bed that Eddie couldn't help himself as he stared at the man above him and felt the way his chest heaved against him and the way he'd bitten his lips raw it was involuntarily what came out of his mouth when his blurred eyes squinted up at him. "You're...So...Hot."

It felt embarrassing and no matter how often Eddie subconsciously thought about this situation he didn't think he could ever imagine saying this observation to the man's face, not when his ego seemed so inflated. It seemed inflated but with these words Richie seemed to short circuit as he hid his face in the brunette's stomach, hands flat against it in a trembling shock to his system. 

"W-well, thank you, Eds you're not too bad yourself-"

God, even through the drinks it was awkward as Hell to hear Richie stutter over a compliment a few words that he'd said that Eddie was sure he already knew to be a fact. It wasn't as if Richie didn't know he was attractive... It couldn't be possible that he was shocked to hear it, especially from Eddie not when he thought about it as he did. The response had boggled his mind but not long enough to distract him for the man himself in between his legs or the way he was looking at him or the way it felt so right to pull him on top of him with a stifled laugh as they bumped foreheads. The atmosphere would oscillate between a thickness of tension so thick it could choke and hilarity that neither could quite decipher as any particular joke but more the way everything was fun when it came between them. 

It was everything and it was nothing and it felt as if this moment of ecstasy could've extended forever, or at least it would've if not for Richie coming up for air and only for air did he pause. While he'd been drinking and while he'd smoked one or more blunt his heart dropped to his stomach when he saw the other's rosy cheeks and the way his eyes glistened with the toxicity of his state. In every way, Eddie Kaspbrak wore a halo in his eyes and it was in that seraphic and beautiful face Richie saw just how fucked he really was and momentarily pulled back from him completely, letting him sink onto the bed. 

"God Eds I just..." The look on Richie Tozier's face was one of conflict and it was with long hands as he brushed his hair out of his face and the other he got a phone out. "I have to text someone. I'm sorry you can't be alone right now and... Christ do _not_ look at me like that-"

Now let me tell you Eddie Kaspbrak's eyes were not as glazed as they should've been and it certainly wasn't with an unaware intention he smiled sleepily at the boy above him. All the same, the brunette was not completely sober and did not seem to accept the severity of what had just transpired at least not any deeper than his longing for it as small tanned hands tried to take hold once more. 

"He's had a little bit too much to drink I'm sorry I should've kept track," Richie was telling the someone quietly as shaking hands raked through his hair. It was Josh. Richie Tozier had texted Josh Graham. "Just... Stay with him, please? Take care of him?" 

Just out of the corner of his eyes Eddie could make out the lingering look he left him with and felt the glow it brought to his face as his bones seared wildly with the yearning with the urge to ask him to stay, for him specifically to _stay_ with him. It was a look that in a splitting dispersion couldn't be labelled with ease but with tenderness and it was with guilt the drama major turned his back to the room and walked out the heat stifling his vision and heart filled uncomfortably to the brim. 


	7. Are You in Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song for this chapter is 'are you in love' by cherry pool and it definitely ties in with the next chapters song so :,) i might update again at the weekend.

Eddie Kaspbrak and Bev Marsh considered themselves siblings by the fourth month in their friendship.

Eddie didn't have to tell the girl what had happened, he didn't even have to open his mouth because from the stitching of her eyebrows and the half-optimistic smile he could tell she'd heard from a variant of it from Richie. God, what did he even tell her? That... That her best friend had come onto him in amidst the guise of comforting him as a drinking buddy? That he had a crush on him? That... The possibilities of the story were endless. Bev had spoken to Richie just after the entire thing had happened it appeared, as she sat beside him in aggrieved condolence, only replying when Eddie asked with morose regret: "Does he hate me?"

For whatever unearthly reason Bev Marsh started laughing. Real knee-thumping tearjerking volcanic rumbles of amusement at even the thought of him hating her best friend of anything of the sort even crossing the drama major's mind it was hilarious, to her. After those hectic moments of reconciliation in the face of imminent danger, the medicine major tucked his head into the redhead's curls with a heavy sigh and foreboding circles underlining his face. "What happened Bev?"

It was a long story on Bev Marsh's part. What had been a blissful couple hours in the architect's company was slowly panning into a modest half-admittance of being the culprit of the poem and a reciprocated flirting of sorts, or Ben Hanscom's flustered method of it. They'd been having a genuinely lovely time until... Well, until Amy Peterson joined in the conversation and like an earthquake threw the redhead into terrible turbulence of resurfacing memories. With a cranberry painted smile, Amy had crept into the secure pocket of prose and promise Ben and Bev had created in that clashing party and sent it crashing down.

Fifteen minutes then felt like an hour, Bev told him and it was with persistent nagging and solitary panic she ended up dragging Ben away from her and upon looking at his concerned face just... Kissed him. Under the flashing green lights and in clear sight of her ex-girlfriend she saw something true. The redhead said the kiss only lasted a couple of seconds and the look well, she said the look could've shattered a heart: shock, bashfulness, shame, happiness and... Hurt. Ben Hanscom then proceeded the leave the design major with stiff arms and soft lips quivering, muttering an apology on his way out of the dizzying room. 

"How could I be so stupid Eds?" She asked, throwing him a sympathetic smile at the way his eyes twitched at the nickname. "Sorry, forgot that was trademarked Eddie.K, "I thought he really liked me or if he didn't then he was starting to... God, I can't believe Amy showed up what the fuck are the odds?"

"You want me to beat her up?" Eddie couldn't help but muffle into her shoulder. "I totally could if you wanted me to."

"She wouldn't even see it coming," she smiled with a shaky hand, running it through his hair softly. "Cute guy like you she'd think you were boy scout looking for spare change to buy his Mom a box of chocolate."

"Pretty lengthy way of saying I'm short, Bev." He shot back weakly, letting her continue to vibrate warm amusement. It was a strange thing how he could swing between docile and defensive. With the threading of fingers through hair and teasing over his general cuteness, all that surrounded Eddie was a dull sense that they'd be okay. They were Eddie Kaspbrak and Bev Marsh and they were going to take down the world, they could-

"I think you should talk to Richie though."

Suddenly the world felt very big and Eddie very small. 

"_You_ talk to Ben."

They stayed in that back-and-forth fight for the next twenty or so minutes until the brunette allowed his eyes to wander from the floor. He couldn't stay in the dorm he also couldn't confront Richie Tozier but one of those issues was easier to deal with than the other and so he slipped from Bev's arms. "I need to go, are you going to be alright when I'm gone?"  
Playfully shoving his hand off she rolled her eyes. "I'm the big sister here, Eddie.K., Of Course, I will."

He gave her the look. "_Bev_-"

"I'll take my mind off it," she interrupted with a small grin. "I'll visit Stan, okay? Don't worry too much, little man and... Richie really isn't taking this as badly as you think so... Try clear the air?"

Something about the way the redhead had said those last few words ignited a breezy sensation on the back of his neck, gave him his goosebumps with the image it painted in his head the painfully awkward encounter that would come with 'clearing the air.' Eddie didn't want to think too much about what clearing the air would involve for them so he merely shrugged his shoulders in the little-kid-fashion he had when it came to his best friend and headed for the door. Destination? Anywhere that didn't hold traces of Richie. 

**15:24**

Eddie had only one class to get to today. The class was daunting and absolutely out of the question provided the circumstances - it was Psychology, with Richie Tozier. What had been a couple of moments pacing around the corridor had turned into a regular current of worries and anxiety regarding any possibility of what awaited him in the classroom. Only once he'd worked up the nerve to enter and braved even the fiercest and vilest of bile rising in his throat the wind was knocked out of him when he entered to see only one or two people he'd never seen in his life sat there. Two classmates he'd never noticed because during those lessons his eyes had only ever been on one person and they weren't here. They were nowhere to be seen. 

He did his best to act nonchalant as if nothing was wrong but every move felt stilted every deep breath forced and every note taken nonsensical in terms of revision for later periods. Nothing felt natural when a laugh wasn't bubbling to his lips or when he couldn't feel the knocking of bumpy knees against his in riveted enthusiasm for what the lecturer was talking about it... Felt void and despite his best wishes, Eddie ended up thinking back to all that had happened the other night and every little thing that had led up to it. He must've been stupid if he didn't think it would amount to that utterly ignorant to the way he was destined to fuck everything over with that kiss the kiss that he couldn't even certainly attest to being a side effect of drinking or malice or anything that might excuse him from the way all he wanted was to feel their hands brush casually like they usually did.

It was for the rest of the period the medicine major entertained every possible idea of what Richie Tozier could've told their best friend. All of his assumptions were undoubtedly cracked in their logic, totally flawed and devoid of proof despite how plausible they all seemed to him. The real conversation between Bev and Richie had gone a little more like this...  
It was 4:50 in the morning and Richie Tozier was sat on the bench that he had first met Bev Marsh on, leg bouncing up and down uncontrollably and cig clenched between his teeth it was up for debate what was making his bones chatter so brutally. Autumn was a nippy season the cold could get to you, as could the loss of warmth another body on top of you gave you... As could an ache in your chest that was unfortunately not heartburn. This is to say it had been two hours since he'd left the brunette in his almost-kind-of-boyfriend's care and one hour since he'd stopped mentally hurling himself across the entire campus in a repetitive game of regret leaving him breathing hard and choking on each drag. 

Whatever he'd hoped to find on that bench in the early hours of the morning it surely hadn't been the very girl he'd met there. However, it wasn't that exact woman he saw before him that morning it was far from the sardonic, smiling redhead he'd first jokingly flirted with who he never expected to give him the time of day let alone forge such a profound relationship with. No, this was a woman heartbrokenly haggard with bloodshot eyes and slumped shoulders that seemed to plead for any semblance of rest or reprieve in what was a very hard night. "Got any more cigs?"

They had sat like that beside each other for the next ten minutes with smoke circling them and enveloping their raw, shaking limbs in a coating so thick it was a choking hazard, it had taken ten minutes until either of them felt up to owning up to what brought them out their on that frozen Autumn morning. "I kissed Eds. Eddie kissed me. We-"

"What the fuck?" Bev had whispered in reply, facing him with a solid look over the smoke a look not angered but misconstrued and questioning. She took a moment to look over ever interaction the two men had, every single interaction leading up to this that had never seemed anything more than friendly but now seemed so much more. Maybe she should've been annoyed at him for it for kissing her best friend but... They weren't like that. Bev and Richie were different and they knew that. "Christ... Do you like him, Richie? Do you honest-to-God _like_ Eddie because I swear if -"

"I like him, Bev." He admitted bitingly as the smoke-filled his lungs as he kept it there a little too long in bitter resilience to the way he'd been phrased. As if he wasn't sure of how he felt as if he would've let anyone at all happen if he didn't like him, "so much."

"He'll think you hate him if you don't speak to him soon, Rich." She had told him knowingly, wisely and with a sage that came with knowing someone better than you know yourself. She knew this not only because of how they were so intertwined but because she had seen Eddie before heading out, had seen the way his frame looked so hunched and resilient in the bed over form her. "But I can't say we're any different because... I kissed Ben."

"Oh, I know," Richie replied in a faux chipper tone as he studied the tight lines of her face. He knew. Faced with a murderous look the drama major slung his weak, fatigued limbs around her shoulders in pitied empathy. "He isn't mad, Bev. God, can you even imagine Haystack being pissed at someone other than yours truly? You're a saint in his eyes so that's probably why he took it so hard when you kissed him in front of Amy."

"In front of..."

It clicked for Bev at that moment it registered what it said to someone unaware of her own reciprocation and why he'd faced her with such a vicious look of hurt and why... God, just why it had all turned so sour. Whatever true intention and fondness she'd tried to plant on his lips had been lost in translation and the misplanted seed of jealousy in her girlfriend of old who, no matter how achingly familiar her everything was, had little hold over her now and no longer dictated her heart. No, that control of her beating chest was in the hands of the boys she'd unintentionally broken and in a most brutal and insensitive way possible. It all made sense and yet her heart refused to accept it as the whole truth and spun alternative offences she must've committed or any other grudges he could hold against her. Bev Marsh was it turned out, an idiot. 

But not as idiotic as her dear friend Richie Tozier.

"Don't tell Eds I said anything."

Eddie Kaspbrak had barely processed anything that was said during Psychology instead indulging in what could only be the scratching record of Bev's recount of her conversation with Richie with the drama major who was nowhere to be seen in their only shared class and who he couldn't quite decide if this disappearance was a blessing or a curse. The redhead had skimped around any particular details regarding what he'd said about the brunette and in the back of his head, all the medicine major could take that as was a severe repulsion on the bespeckled man's part and a warning sign to back away from any confrontation of what had transpired. Bev hadn't missed anything off the Ben situation and much like Richie, it seemed an obvious thing to Eddie to suggest she smooth over the miscommunication with a civil and heartfelt conversation... She did not agree with them. 

Dawdling out of the class at a painful pace it was an expanding evening in front of him that swirled menacingly in his stomach at the prospect of being left alone with his thoughts. It seemed at that moment he medicine major couldn't escape thinking about the other night and there wasn't anyone he could talk to who wouldn't remind him of what had occurred to some extent whether it was my association or guilt it seemed there was no way to detach himself from it all. If being inside was suffocating the fresh air of the outside seemed to lift him off the ground and pry his eyes open to the man standing at the corner of the campus, long legs propped against the bench in deep thought. That is to say, Richie Tozier was in the courtyard, a fair distance away from him but there nonetheless. 

Bev had said he wasn't taking the entire thing too badly but she God was she _wrong_. She was wrong because leaning against the campus bench was Richie Tozier looking as if turbulence had shaken his very core to the point of immobility to the point every walk was like a step on broken glass or ever blink the first of a hungover morning. He looked shit if Eddie was honest. He looked utterly horrendous and yet his fingers itched to come hair out of his eyes and soothe his shuddering shoulders and he's been looking at him for far too long now crap. Forcing his eyes down it took everything in the short man to not give him another glance before someone did the job for him. "Whatcha looking at?"

Stumbling back in feigning of defence it was a slippery attempt as it was one of the last people he would ever want to start a conversation standing there. Floral thick-soled boots, button nose, eyebrow piercing and lilac-dipped locks swinging it was Amy. Sharp-tongued stompy footed Amy Wilson who had somehow managed to be both Bev Marsh's first love and heartbreak she was a hurricane in her presence and it was all Eddie could do to face her piercing look with an equally fierce one. It wasn't fair that she had come back that night, it wasn't fair that she ruined what could've been the start of a beautiful, healthy romance for his best friend it... It wasn't fair. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing, Ames. What are you doing back here?"

"You could do better than Richie Tozier." She said in that knowing tone as if her third eye had been opened aged thirteen when she first discovered indie music. She liked to act as if she knew more than anyone could ever hope to and it was with the glaring light of day it was insanely noticeable how large of a fault this was. "Too good for him, Eddie.K"

"Funny how I always thought the same about Bev with you," he couldn't resist shooting back. It was a white lie and they both knew it but he kept up the act to the best of his ability to the chagrin of the part of his heart that hammered at the insinuation he and Richie had something to be above. His neck felt hot with the confrontation but he kept his hands still. "Bev's moved on, Amy. It took her a long fucking time so... Please don't fuck up what she has with him." 

"Oh, don't you worry little Eddie," she hummed out in longwinded protest and while a smile that was well aware of how strong her intimidation could strike, like a viper, poised she let him fall into false security with a softer smile. "I'm not even here to out whatever crush you have on Tozier let alone get Bev back I- I'm here for the family but... How is Bev?"

The way she asked after her had struck a chord of empathy in Eddie's stomach that he had prided himself on pushing down when it came to her and it was with a prolonged staring competition, evaluating her sincerity he let out a sharp breath. It wasn't as if Amy Wilson was a bad person - she was a very sweet girl for the most part - but when it came to association and what first came to mind when looking at her thin eyebrows and puckered lips it was the feeling of his best friend crying on his shoulder, of her badmouthing the woman for her insensitivity. Rather than all the wonderous days the two girls had together, the wholesome dates Eddie had tagged along on and the many, many paintings she'd painted the redhead she still had stashed in her closet it was hard to remember that it was hard to think of that sharp gaze as anything but belittling. 

"She's good," the brunette replied nonetheless. Fingers pinched into his shirt sleeve. "She's really really good these last few months I've never seen her happier. God, Amy she was such a wreck after you left and it wasn't easy all those sleepless nights, reckless decisions and we missed so many fucking classes-"

"The Manifesto," she interrupted softly. 

"Y-Yeah," he confirmed haltingly taken aback to hear she remembered the rulebook, let alone which number it was. "We missed around a fortnight of classes the month you left and then she met Richie and he introduced her to Bill and Ben and I swear I've never seen her so fucking happy she's brighter than ever and..."

He paused then to squint at the woman's extensive gaze. "Ben could possibly be the best thing to ever come into her life and you showing up last night royally screwed it over for them... He's everything she needs, Amy. Whatever Richie and I give her and whatever we have to offer her would be complete if she had a chance to fully accept Ben into her heart."

The words were spilling out without much thought but as he processed them there was a dull ache in Eddie's chest with their truth and just how protective he truly felt about his best friend, something about the way his earnest defence soaked through his words in a permeating warning. Bev Marsh's heart was no joking matter when it came to him and it was in this moment he knew he was born in some sense to help her get what she deserved out of life - which was to say everything - and push off any interference on the positive. Amy Wilson was not a bad person but Bev Marsh wasn't just a good person, she was the best person anyone could hope to know in their life. 

"Please just let her patch things up with him," he concluded soundly. This should do it. "I'll tell her you don't mean any harm because I really do think she'd want to talk to you, Amy 'cause God knows you were just as important to her as Richie is in the friend category."

"But never _you_," Amy replied wryly. "No one could ever top the best friend status in her books with you Eddie.K."

"Well, obviously."

There was a kindred smile between them and Eddie knew that while the grudge may linger they would always have one thing in common - wanting the best for Bev Marsh. Brought of this telepathic interaction the jangle of dripping earrings brought the girl's attention to something behind her before she returned her winged eyes to him in subtle knowingly. Raking a hand-decorated in various dark-toned rings through her hair and out of her face Amy faced him with that detestably knowing look the one that said she knew everything and ruffled his head the way Bev so often did. He kept a stoic face but deep down Eddie nervously awaited whatever prophetic thing would leave her lips this time around, the way she so often predicted someone's predicaments. 

"Are you in love, Eddie?" She asked with a loose grin. 

"I- I'm..." For whatever reason, that had been the last thing he was expecting. It was with whatever shred of dignity he could remain around her he gave her his classic friendly smile. "I'm kind of seeing someone right now."

"That isn't what I asked." Amy pointed out, eyebrows raised in cinched glory. She loved making people uncomfortable with her guesses. 

For whatever cursed reason Eddie Kaspbrak made the mistake of looking around the campus for some means of getting out of answering or even to find an answer and it was as his eyes paused on one man, in particular, it felt as if an elephant had sat on his chest as if he'd found his answer. Looking right back at him on that clouded November evening was Richie Tozier with his furrowed brows and nimble fingers poised and arms out despite the chill running down his arms like he was retaliating Mother Nature's schedule. It was without thinking Eddie's mouth moved to answer and his eyes glazed over in passive unconscious. 

"Yeah," he said dazedly. He looked at the girl with his voice soft and unperturbed by whatever storm ruptured his chest. "I guess I am."

Seemingly content with this answer Amy Wilson pushed his shoulder in the way she used too in the older-sibling fashion so many donned with him and huffed out a chuckle at his hopelessness. He had barely registered the words that left his mouth but by the time his eyes sharpened to their full capacity the man making his way towards him was blonde and muscular and smiled with only a peek of his top teeth, it was Josh Graham and he was wearing an affectionate expression. Looking at that face made Eddie feel so disgustingly plagued by his actions the words threatened the spill out with resurgence, even started as he attempted a small smile. 

"Josh I need to tell you something-"

"Hey Eddie," he spoke over him cheerfully. Blonde strands fell into from his frost-bitten ears carelessly while his tanned hands rose to illustrate what he was about to say. "A bunch of us are all going on a little road trip for the long weekend and... Well, I know you don't know them too well but I was wondering if you'd want to go? It'll mostly just be a chance to get off campus and somewhere fun but you could bring your friends and I'd really like you to go... Eddie?"

"Yes!" The shorter man answered quickly and without so much as a second thought he dug himself deeper with the stilted continuation of: "I'd love to."

"Great," Josh said and with this scheduled trip his cheeks dimpled in the sweetest exhibition of delight, harshly pricking the cold air as it shifted in warmth for the possibility of spending more time together. "I'll text with more details."

With the departing squeeze of his forearm, Eddie Kaspbrak was left standing in the biting air all on his own to frantically revise everything that had just taken place and how little time he had to process it to the point of sense. During this revision, it had failed to strike the medicine major when Josh had shown up behind him and what exactly he'd heard of the conversation with Amy, as well as what the little snippet he could've heard would say about Eddie's feelings and for whom. He was ignorant to all of this and yet it was with a peculiar fullness in his chest he returned to his dorm a feeling as if something had been lifted off his chest with only a small string of words as if speaking a truth into existence had released it, freeing him from the anxiety of confronting it.

This wasn't to be the case. Entering the empty dorm the auburn glow of the their faulty light enveloped him in a kind hug while he slipped off his shoes and the bed he slumped onto comforted him with its fond cotton sheets it seemed the exact relief he had needed after a day of pounding repression - he was free to let his mind wander, to tire itself out as it pleased. He had faith his brain would get tired of this one-man meltdown it had habitually adapted to but he would never get a chance to find out as the bathroom door gave a loud click open and a figure emerged. 

When Eddie Kaspbrak says he felt his heart stop at that moment it was no lie as with a winded inhalation the air seemed to retreat from him and in stifled apprehension he let his eyes meet the blue ones, equally surprised. It was a thing for the two men to look at each other without words - a development of the last twenty-four hours - and it was never clear who would break the silence if anyone would but - "Big Bill's been sick all day so I had to use the-"

"It's fine."

A silence took hold of the lit room. Eyes darted to the floor and back to one another. The lights flickered in a desperate attempt to trigger a reaction or any inflexion that wasn't just longing looks or untranslated thoughts that no one but them could decipher. It was always Richie who broke the silence always but this time Eddie wished he hadn't because-

"So, hows Josh?"

The name set the brunette's joints stiff and any heat derived from the blanket of his bed slipped through his fingers in a ceaseless jolt resulting in his posture straightening and his lips crumpling. If he could've forced himself to look at Richie at that moment he would've seen how aggressively he regretted those words himself as his hands itched to slap against his head in their ignorance in their pretty resolve when it came to Eddie. 

"Fine," Eddie found himself spitting out and it horrified him to trace venom in the way he'd said it. Whatever he'd felt with that question it hadn't been directed at the man himself but he saw the way the man flinched at the tone. He had to try to say something... Anything that wouldn't jeopardize their friendship more than he already had last night. "You didn't show up in Psych today, do you hate me or something? It was boring as shit."

Whatever shred of humour had been in that sentence seemed lost in the truth of question in how Eddie couldn't help but search Richie's eyes for a genuine answer to it for some semblance of sanity in the crashing waves of confusion now shrouding them. The truth of their interaction wrapped around their throats in grey fog so heavy it could've choked a man but it couldn't hide the way the drama major's mouth twitched at the bantering attempt.

"You know I could never hate you, Eds... Is that really what you think?" He retorted with a half-smile, leaning against the bathroom with the keen observation that if he were to sit beside him it might not end too well for either of them. The second part had been said quietly and was barely caught by the brunette but it seemed it wasn't anything particularly incriminating as Richie's smile turned a little bigger in the way it always did when he was going to make a joke or jib. "But yeah, no shit Psych was shit without me Eddie Spaghetti. How is anyone expected to understand a man's sexual awakenings without me as their prime example? I told you Freud wants what I have."

It was a weak attempt to replicate the normalcy of their usual banter but Eddie still returned the grin best he could because he had tried and because they had to try or else they would simultaneously combust with the other's habitual gazes. Within the next ten minutes the old interactions resurfaced with more ease and it became apparent that no matter the circumstance the two boys couldn't ignore each other long and it was as Richie claimed an appointment he had to get to Eddie couldn't help but bite his lip, and lingering his eyes on the man's tall frame it seemed he had no other choice.

"Hey Rich," he called. "Wanna go on a road trip?"

**09:40, the morning of the road trip.**

While Eddie and Bev had never made a particularly big deal out of doing anything on days off from the Uni it didn't take much time amongst them to decide they were most definitely taking a chance of getting away from the campus, even if only to some personal family's place... Who they had never met. The details didn't matter as if would seem the three things that mattered most to Bev were going to be there on the journey those three people rather than things being Ben, Richie and Eddie. On the Ben front it seemed there was a neutral surrender of any of their ends of upset and the redhead was viewing this journey as a perfect opportunity for amends, as did Richie and Eddie as they cooed at the romanticism of the idea. 

As far as travelling conditions went there were two vehicles that in their simplest forms had been divided into film majors versus Eddie and his invited friends which.. If he was completely honest was the exact outcome he'd been hoping for. t wasn't as if he didn't like Josh's friends but it seemed a given if there was anyone he'd want to be trapped in a car with for a couple of hours it was his own friends. Sat in the front were Bev and Eddie as the designated drivers which in the two in the back were honest could either work ideally or.. Disasteriously. While Eddie possessed everything he needed to know about cars in the event of a break-down or the driving of one he couldn't be trusted with directions on his life so it was with a licked thumb the redhead sat by his side flicking through it with drawn eyebrows and eventual mourning as she brought out a GPS. If anything went wrong they'd decided she was best in an emergency, for panic's sake. 

In the back sat Richie and Ben who as it turned out had a whole lot more to talk about than it would've been expected as it was only an hour in that Ben turned away from his friend and started to inch towards a started conversation with the redhead, leaving Eddie looking back to the film major in the mirror as if daring him to make a comment on his driving. It hadn't taken long after the raise of his eyebrow for Richie to start bringing up the time - well, bragged about - the time he'd saved him from the side of his road and from the perilous danger that could've awaited him on that dark night.

Their interactions throughout the first half of the journey had majorly returned to that of the earlier days of their friendship but it was as Eddie reached to check on his seat belt ignorant of how Richie's hands were rested near the belt there arose a spark, a flame igniting in blissful ease as a hauntingly familiar feeling reared its head in the two of their guts.

At that moment the two of their index fingers were achingly close to touching but it was that tiny fibre of space, the thread of shrouded confession that kept the distance between them and somehow, somehow that sensation seemed to set their faces aflame hotter than any contact could. 

It was going to be a _long_ road trip. 


	8. Love it if We Made It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so a quick fyi: this chapter is,,, two chapters long. because of my writing process and style this is 7k but you know what? its 7k of reddie content so :') enjoy and perhaps leave a comment if you get through it all sjkfjskdfkds.

It was the second stop of the journey and with half an hour remaining, Eddie and Bev were ready to murder Richie Tozier.

Having been the mandatory and self-proclaimed DJ of the car journey, he had connected his phone to the car with lightning fingers and a wicked smile, plotting the untimely deafness of all the friends. It was only as Bev turned dangerously in the car and damn near jumped onto the drama major to snatch the control of the tunes that Eddie felt his heart damn near give out. It wasn't as if the two didn't have overlapping music taste but on the fourth playing of _Sex Bomb_ by Tom Jones it seemed the redhead lived up to the fiery reputation and lost it. Now, with less than an hour leg to their journey, the four had stopped outside a rundown little cafe and the havoc-wrecking gene in Richie was still acting up. Currently, it was resulting in him pouring twelve packets of salt onto the table, and pretending to snort it which he said wasn't bad - it irrevocably was - because he'd clean it up before leaving. 

Although the three of them had stared at him warningly when he'd poured the third sachet, by the fourth they'd ended up holding back vicious bags of laughter as the few elderly cafe goers looked over to them in horrified curiosity. Despite having ordered different drinks it didn't stop the friends from exchanging and passing them around in a test trial. They tried each other's but there was a wariness when giving it to Richie Tozier and Ben protectively circled his hot chocolate, batting his friend's hands away. "Whenever you drink something the chunks of whatever you've been eating float in it."

Howling a laugh at that Eddie took a gulp of his strawberry milkshake before pushing it towards his best friend, allowing her to swipe a dollop of cream on her finger. Apparently seeing this as an opening the drama major cunningly manoeuvered his long fingers into the middle of the milkshake and got tantalisingly close. That is until Eddie swiftly kicked him under a table and ferociously gave him a warning look. "Hands off, asshole."

"How come she gets some?" Richie pouted, jerking his thumb towards the redhead sulkily. 

"Bev's hands are clean," Eddie shot back with a sarcastic smile. "I don't know where yours have been."

It was a comment meant to be taken in jest but for whatever reason, they stared each other down as their mind went to a similar place. Despite the uncharacteristic reaction, Ben threw Bev a knowingly look as she stole a marshmallow from his drink and choked back a laugh when Richie had trouble meeting their eyes. Thankfully the abashed moment was overtaken with the waitresses' troubled look at Richie's line of salt-cocaine and the group of friends went back to their travels. 

The end of the journey had been calm when compared to the riot prior but even so it wasn't without its own little speed bumps. Glances traded in the rearview mirror, hands skimming while fixing seatbelts and the occasional breath on Eddie's neck. It was a perfectly serene finish to the journey and yet Eddie and Richie somehow managed to get caught in a blizzard. For whatever reason Bev Marsh had thrown him a pitying look and patted him on the shoulder as if she was aware of a secret he may never be privy to. Similarly, Ben Hanscom leaned over to make a joking comment to Richie only for him to turn a shade of hot pink and swat his hand away.

Sometimes, you wouldn't be wrong to assume Bev and Ben were the smartest people in the world, let alone the car. 

The other car of friends had arrived an hour before them and Eddie _knew_ what Josh's car looked like but all the same, pulling up to the place all four of them did a double-take. It looked if Eddie was honest, like the cabin of a highly rated ski-resort. With that description, it was safe to say the four friends were out of their depth as they floundered for words to say. Barely visible from where they were standing it was already horrendously harrowing that the group of film majors had somehow made the padded snow jackets work for them. Not only that but there were hauling weeks worth of extensive equipment from their car.

When compared with the way the four friends had packed and styled their choices it was clear they weren't particularly autumnal people. That isn't to say Bev Marsh didn't love neon turtle necks and wasn't sporting an aqua one quite nicely, or that Ben Hanscom's winter coat didn't compliment the darker browns in his hair _or_ that Richie Tozier didn't look far too good to Eddie in his hideous tie-dyed hoodie. They were just... Different.

It wasn't that they were any less in their appearance it was that it became pretty clear in how they carried themselves who had a good time in high school. None of them would say it but Bev and Richie exchanged a look in the suppression of the assumption, knowing they'd both grown passed labels and pre-sanctioned hierarchies of high school. They were better than that. 

Spotting them from afar Josh ran at them and with practised ease slipped his index finger into the waistband of Eddie's jeans in a goading gesture to pull him closer. Eddie couldn't help it. He flinched, badly. Eyes shooting up in horror he was met with Josh's narrowed gaze. "Wow, don't know what came over me. S-

Before he could get those meek words out of his mouth, the brunette felt the ghost of a hand against his. He didn't have to look to know it was Richie, and considering the circumstances, it was better that way. Taking in a shallow breath Eddie was more horrified he'd been about to apologize than anything else. Meeting Josh's eyes once more he saw they were no longer slits, and now seemed to be overcome with understanding. Thank Fuck.

Learning from his mistakes, the film major clapped the medicine major on the shoulder instead. "Come on, I'll introduce you guys properly."

Relaxing ever so slightly Eddie felt a draining of warmth as he was led in front of his group. The hand contact hadn't been heavy but it had put him at ease in a way not realized, and missed.

Though in previous encounters he hadn't been particularly fond of any of them none of them were threatening up close, nor were they anything short of friendly as Ashey offered him a gloved hand, Sam an encouraging nod and Thomas went straight in for a circled hug. There were little things about them that set him at ease when paired with their greetings, such as the way Thomas had drawn all over his white Doc Martins, how he fiddled with the cable of his headphones as if nervous to impress him. Sam looked exactly as if she'd been dragged from a siren's tale, green-blue waves falling passed a bronzed and rounded face she never seemed to lose her dimpled smile. Ashley's hand-sewn bag-patches, one of which faintly glowed in white and blue and pink, a luminescent flag sewn with pride. Another had Disney animals cautiously detailed in sweet characterisation. If there was anyone Bev would warm up to it would be Ashley.

He was right. The redhead had taken note of the patches and instantly moved to make conversation, although she made sure to never lose track of Ben. No one would ever be a patch on Eddie's best friends but with the way they intermingled in every small quirk it wasn't an arduous mix. In fact, it seemed a fitting group of people to escape reality from. Bev had circled forearms with Ashley, complimenting her handpainted earrings and Ben had struck up a conversation with Thomas as they good-naturedly spoke of movies and music. Richie? Well, he tagged along with Eddie and Josh while Sam put her belongings away which resulted in interrupted jokes and misplaced conversation starters. The five-minute walk to the cabin took an age.

The fog of the afternoon faded into the faint wood-smoke of night and the entire coalition of friends were gathered in the sitting room as 'The Breakfast Club' played reassuringly in the air. Every person on the trip had chosen a different area of the room to encroach their sleepy, wine-soaked minds in listless bliss. Being that they were rooming with a bunch of film majors Eddie and Bev swapped looks at times they brought up the composition, as did Bev and Richie whenever they spoke of who the best directors and movies truly were nowadays. Ben seemed quite tranquil with all these amused glances and more than anything didn't seem to be concerned with anything outside keeping that smile on the redhead's face. He really was the perfect man for her. 

In short, their first night away from the stresses of University had panned out in exactly the way it was supposed to. All was right with the world. You would see Bev leaning onto the architect affectionately, you'd see Ashley occasionally leaning over to talk to the redhead about design, you'd see Josh Graham with his sleeves rolled up in the heat and casting glances over at Eddie in every spare moment not arguing over a director. Thomas doubled between arguing with the blonde's points and planting kisses onto Sam, who Eddie had only just realized was his girlfriend.

Where was Eddie at this moment? Well, he was nothing if not painfully predictable as had hopped onto the kitchen counter away from the buzz of laughter and television, joined by none other than Richie Tozier. Having both seen the movie more than either of them would ever admit they slipped into the kitchen and were having their own little debate as to whether the drama major would really get Meryl Streep's face tattoed. It was through this ridiculously thorough and analytical debate Eddie had learnt the man already had a tattoo in place, on the inside of his forearm. 

It wasn't like they couldn't talk like this in the other room, it was just that in doing so one person, in particular, would be staring. Eddie knew he wouldn't have felt so obliged to run his hand over the mini _Origin of Symmetry_ tattoo in his company, despite having made no promises. The guilt felt especially misplaced when he thought of what he'd told Amy last he saw her. In aid of getting a better view, he pulled Richie in front of him so that he was between his legs. Looking up he couldn't help but note Richie's eyes were trained anywhere but him. With troublemaking tendencies and a mischievous smile, he pulled the glasses from his face. 

Richie Tozier just smiled, pulling back slightly and looking to him with pinched eyes. Without his glasses, the halo of his scruffed up hair glowed around his pale face unbothered. Once more the words modern-day renaissance painting flickered through his head. God, his brain was getting unbearable to listen to. "You want any tats, Eds?"

"There's always a chance of contracting something from the needle," Eddie answered instead, because it was all he could do to not ask for him to be back in his personal space. "In every store, at least one person can catch HIV from tattooing equipment and... Well, I don't even know what I'd get if I did,"

"Something cute," Richie implemented softly. That faint smile paired with the way his eyes scrunched up was a match made in heaven for Eddie's subconscious. His id, as Freud would call it, having a field day. He wanted to pull him back into his space... Christ. Instead, with what little control he had left, the brunette kicked at his friend's knee and with a chortle of a sort demanded: "Can you even see me without these?"

"Hey."

A raspy voice shattered the little universe they'd created. Eddie was keenly aware of how his ankles bumped the drama majors and how when looking at Josh's inquisitive green glance, Richie's glasses were still in his hands. 

"Hey," Eddie replied. A disastrous attempt at fronting as nonplussed. Propping himself back up his hands felt glued to the specks. "This place is pretty fancy, are you trying to swindle your own friends?"

To anyone who knew Eddie Kaspbrak, it was painfully obvious the influence in that small, smiling joke. It didn't exactly carry in Eddie's tone of voice but he could feel the suppressed laughter, emanating from his friend. Josh Graham didn't notice the imprint on his comment and merely smiled that half dimpled smile. God, Eddie should've told him how he felt the second he proposed the trip.

"I mean it isn't as if Ash's parents need all the money," he replied thoughtfully. Looking back to him with a warm yet - somewhat- hostile flickering look upwards he moved forward. "Wanna go for a walk?"

"Oh...Sure?" Eddie found himself agreeing, albeit halfheartedly. This question had been directed at precisely Eddie's eye level and it was clear from the almost-audible rumble of Richie's chest he'd noted it too.

Fiddling with his friend's glasses the medicine major toyed with the idea of taking them as a keepsake, a remembrance a... He really was in deep shit. It was evident from the coaxing look of the blonde that taking the glasses would not win him any points so it was with what he hoped was a flurried action he placed the glasses on Richie's face once more. He hadn't been quick enough. On the glasses journey back onto their owner's nose Eddie had let his hand linger a little too long, left his hand to graze the other's cheek. Eddie sent him a look that he hoped carried that this trip was not for romantic reasons. He couldn't tell how it was interpreted. 

Turning to Josh a softer smile settled on his lips, a smile he only ever seemed to show the blonde as it was a smile of the private sort. One that you gave someone you weren't quite so comfortable with. It was a sweet expression nonetheless and upon seeing it a true smile curled on the film major's lips.

The entire walk to the door with Josh's arm guiding him Eddie could feel Richie's unmoving eyes burning holes into his neck and when the cold air slammed into him, only then did he realize he'd been holding his breath. The chilly night air kicked him in what he'd have to do, while the hot chocolate he was carrying reminded him of the world inside.

Very rarely if at all did Eddie Kaspbrak do relationships of anything but the romantic nature, which is why he so enjoyed it when the blonde leaned into him at first. He was a naturally affectionate person but it was when an arm moved to pin his waist it hit him. He was not friends with Josh. They'd gone on two dates due to finding each other attractive, and the second had been disastrous. As Josh put his mouth, without hesitation, to his chilled neck Eddie knew it would never feel right. It hadn't felt right after that second date, and he was wrong to think he could let a guy who barely knew him go any further. Not again, and not when he hadn't shown any genuine understanding.

"H-Hey!" He protested haltingly, pushing the blonde back slightly. This wasn't what he wanted. Maybe it hadn't been what he wanted for a long, long time. "I said I couldn't do this, the Halloween party wasn't... I said it wouldn't be sure."

They two boys surveyed each other for a moment as their chests heaved. The blonde's left eye twitched in retaliation as if holding back some-

"You know you're a real piece of shit, Eddie Kaspbrak." Josh Graham said with a pause. Looking back at him he couldn't hide his emotions, at all. "You _know _how much I like you and you keep dangling this tangible idea of yourself as if you're some prized reward like you're _that _special. I'm trying to be patient Eddie but don't get ahead of yourself and think I couldn't find someone else-"

"Since when does that mean I owe you anything?" He snapped, deliberately feeling his heartbeat race and his ears thrash with an oceanic defensiveness. His whole body quivered with the biting tone at the unfamiliar way they word of hurt rolled off his tongue and how they squirmed in his chest. "It was our second date and I wasn't fucking ready, Josh. Must've liked me a whole lot for it to take three attempts to get you to stop."

"I'm _not_ your first boyfriend," Josh wildly sighed. "_You_ should've told me beforehand, or at least told me you were fucking Richie-_fucking_-Tozier."

"You're sure fucking sounding like him!" Eddie retorted, proud of himself for keeping cool in the second accusation. "Sorry, I didn't realize my first sexual experience made me uncomfy with things moving fast. Is that what you want to hear?"

"God, just admit you didn't fucking mean the second chance you gave me," Josh muttered. "or at least that it's because of Tozier."

"I didn't," the medicine major bit out. "I thought you understood how difficult it was for me to entertain the idea of us being together after that. I liked you. A lot, and I thought we could be friends but clearly fucking not."

"Liked?" He repeated. Licking chapped lips he looked up at him with a searching stare as if to uncover the exact moment it had turned to past tense and if it could be reversed. "If you _really-"_

"What? Liked you?" the medicine major scoffed. He didn't care if it was below the belt at this point. "I really made the right choice falling in love with Tozier, huh?"

With that, Eddie turned his back on the film major and waded his way through the snowy mounds. He was triumphant yet tearful as he looked over all that had transpired, all he'd said when all that was supposed to happen was an apology. However, the longer he took to walk back it became abundantly clear an apology to the blonde was not the one in order. By the time he was standing at the entrance, he was shaking and attempting pretty poorly to steel his nerves. The chatter of those happily excluded from the experience blared from inside, and as he stepped in the argument seemed to soak onto the floor. The collar of his shirt was clinging to his neck with the intense blaze of the fire that sat in the middle of the room. Circled around it was two people who did not burn by the hearth and instead basked in it, in a lover's embrace. Those two people just happened to be Eddie's best friend and her possible-most-likely-now-boyfriend Ben Hanscom and they were curled into each other as they watched the subtitles of a movie in a foreign language, enraptured by the storyline and the security of each other.

Pausing where he was for a couple of moments Eddie couldn't help but keep his blinking eyes on the two of them and how easy it all seemed to come. They'd had the hardship of the poem's anonymity and Amy showing up but at the end of the day, they'd conquered it with sheer adoration they had for each other. Just on the right side of them, standing up to his full height was Richie Tozier and taking him in after the whiplash of the cold outside it felt as if Eddie's entire face went aflame.

Unintentionally mimicking what he had been doing earlier, the drama major's soft gaze - unhidden by glasses as they were pushed into his hair - was trained on their two friends rather than the movie. Before moving beside him it was almost involuntary the way the brunette studied him: the way his scratchy-cardigan hung low, the chunks of hair never flattened from a day's travel, cold-chapped lips and elongated hands tipping the cigarette into an ashtray as they coloured a purple-pale. 

Catching his eyes before he'd started to walk over Richie gave him a look that begged the question of what was wrong, but instead of answering the medicine student walked over to the man and. bumping shoulders he relaxed. "Hey," he murmured into his approach. "Wanna go for a drive?"


End file.
